road trip!!!

Hello Ca.!!!! We are on a road trip..driving up the golden coastline.
sunshine. small beach towns. stopping for sandwiches. Pacific Coast Hwy. family time. sun-kissed skin. fruit stands. afternoon naps. breezes. summer dresses. miles of vineyards. holding hands. ice cream from Stone Cold. photos. surfers. making memories of the best kind.
Just soaking it all up!

keeping memories

(a page from my art journal)

Ever since I gave birth to Tara, it has never been more important to me to keep these memories. I want to archive, scrapbook, write down so many funny and amazing things she says everyday...but where is the time? So recently.... ...I am combining art + journaling + scrapbooking elements into my sketchbook pages. I use a Canson Montval all- media sketch book (You can also find them at Barnes and Noble for around $20). They are seriously awesome. The pages are rough and tough and will accept watercolor, acrylics, inks, gesso, gel medium...you name it! Plus the cover is so thick, I gesso it and paint over top ( I always love an inviting cover that encourages me to delve inside!)

                                                 (thick juicy pages from my art journal!)
Here are some of my fave supplies:
*Canson Montval all media sketchbook
* gesso (man... I love this stuff!)
*Liquitex matte gel medium (for collage)
* cheap craft paints from Michaels
*masking tape (I love the way it looks-see above pic)
*Tim Holtz...OMG!! Who is this guy??? I just love his products! He has amazing stuff...mini-doorknobs, vintage papers, stickers and...on and on. I can spend some big bucks here!
*collage...I use... well, anything that catches my eye (pages from a vintage dictionary, maps, scrapbook paper, brown paper bags give you the most amazing aged look, newspaper, on and on)
*inks and pens/pencils
*photos
* I recently discovered this store that has the most amazing products and prices!

(Princess -of -Spaghetti Tara)

There are no rules...I just go for it! I gesso a page and let dry...then I usually layers collage pieces with gel medium and let dry.  I add paints/inks...wipe some off with a paper towel. Add text, journal, hand and footprints, write memories...I also encourage  Tara to work on the backgrounds (she just loves this!) so I have some of her paintings and drawings in here too!! Add epherma, embellishments, frames (I love the ones by Memory Makers)...and Tim Holtz... love!!!!  And I just discovered 7 Gypsies!!!! Holy smokes! Seriously am in love with their stuff! ...later on I can add them to a scrap layout or frame it or just have it as a record of Tara. I am also getting super interested in altered books and assemblage...but that's a whole other post!

journey

(journey, mixed media, archival prints available here!)

she went to a place

deep deep inside of herSELF

where  her soul could bloom

and her spirit ...soar

long forgotten...no more

remembering...

"I am enough"

this is the journey

this is the journey

keeping it real

                                                         (a page from my art journal)
I recently read this post over here and in between laughing so hard I almost fell out of my chair  (because it's really so funny)...I also started to think because it's a very insightful post. I love posts like that...laughing + thinking = a good thing! Anyways...it's all about picture perfect blogs, pristine homes and on and on. I suppose it's really easy for someone reading a blog to get the (erroneous) idea that everything is...purrr-fect!! (as if there is such a thing!)  I mean...all these pics of magazine-like vignettes and styled photos. Of course I edit and style my pics and don't post pics of dirty laundry piles or dishes in the sink (although I have seen some very artful pics of those very things!). I also tend to stay away from writing about potty training and things but...it doesn't mean it's not happening!  Here's the deal...we are all fragile, multi-dimensional beings...flawed... and not all of that can be captured in a blog.Sure I can write in detail about all sorts of dark and  desperate places I have mentally and emotionally been in my life (we all have our share of pain and hardship that's for sure)...but unless there's a reason; I have a story or lesson to share... I generally tend to stay away from those sorts of things.
I  feel that blogs are like mirrors to who we are. If I read a blog and feel jealous/insecure/judgmental or if I feel inspired/motivated/happy...it's just a reflection of what's going on inside of me. I really wouldn't want a pristine home (tons of work to keep it that way, you know!!) or someone else's life/art/success etc. I do get how we can compare ourSELVES to others though but again...that's our issue to face. What do you think?
I feel that one of the best things about blogs is that we can connect to our kindreds. If someone reads my blog and feels like I am babbling on about...nothing...then they probably don't connect with me and that's totally okay. We can pick and choose who we visit, who we allow into our lives, the energy we want to bring into our space. Not everyone is going to get us...and vice versa.
Well...it's quite late over here and I have had a loooong day...so I am hoping this all makes sense somehow.

 

*I am taking a mini break from my blog to rest and replenish ...will be back next week! Have a great weekend!

simplicity

                                                        (Nataraja and rose petals)

"Everyday life is the prayer.
How we conduct it, cherish it,
celebrate it, consecrate it."

                                          ~Sarah Ban Breathnach

Sometimes...its so easy to get covered in the dust of life. You know...the everyday routines and to-do lists, the mundane and routine aspects of living a life. A very long time ago when I lived in an ashram (I am going to get around to writing about that one of these days) ...we developed a practice of mindfulness. The practice was to be completely in the moment, no matter what you were doing...washing dishes, sweeping a floor or peeling potatoes. To become one with the action and..the Universe, really. Well...when I left the ashram, I still tried to carry pockets of that practice with me into my everyday life. It's difficult. Lately...I have been feeling that I need to get back to simplicity. Less...stuff. More...life.  Tara's nursery is overflowing and...so much of my art stuff has found its way out of my studio and onto the kitchen table.  Things are feeling messy and cluttered and ...way too much. I am hoping for some...simplicity so I can focus on the important stuff; loving and creating and sunshine and roses. That kinda' stuff.

 

                                           (self portrait at 42-dancing red skirt + grass)

lazy summer days

(this afternoon in our backyard)

It's been lazy days over here. I don't know what's gotten into me but...I am just enjoying these long days of summer.  We  have been blowing bubbles in the backyard, eating ripe red strawberries and laying on the grass...reading and giggling and sharing stories... with plenty of hugs and kisses. Tara has been talking so much recently, coming up with at least 10 new words a day and developing her own little personality (part sass, part shy girl, part polite lady, part tomboy). Every day is a brand new adventure and discovery and I am just trying to soak it all up. Just wanted to share that with you all. xxx

a few goodies!

(last weekend at the San Diego Zoo-Tara exceeding her 2 hour max!!)

"Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom."   -Marcel Proust  (Just discovered this quote in the current O mag. LOVE!!)

*Looking so forward to Father's Day tomorrow!! I planned a few wonderful surprises and gifts. So excited!!
* interested in what's going on over here next week
*thinking of signing up for this class over here if I can manage the time
*just getting around to reading my new camera manual (it was a Mother's Day gift!!!)
* Tara received a beeeeeyooootiful gift of fairy wings...all the way from Australia!! You can only imagine her excitement...flitting around the house:)
*I just discovered Pinterest. OMG!!! Brilliant, fun and...addicting!!!
* I finally figured out how to make a blog badge. I am not sure if it actually works (!!!) but if you read my blog...please consider grabbing one; it's in the upper left side bar.
I hope you all have a wonderful, marvelous weekend full of...goodies of every kind!!

what is calling you, the journey to SELF + turning off all that noise!

 "What in your life is calling you?
When all the noise is silenced,
the meetings adjourned,
the lists laid aside,
and the wild iris blooms by itself
in the dark forest,
what still pulls on your soul?

                  (awakening to the fullness of herSELF, archival prints available here!)

In the silence between your heartbeats
hides a summons.
Do you hear it?
Name it, if you must,
or leave it forever nameless,
but why pretend it is not there?"

 " ~ Terma Collective, The Box ~

 There is so much noise in our lives...all the noise of what we should be/want/do. Of how and who  we should live/love/be. There is the noise of our past, of our family of origin, our culture and society. There is the noise of past relationships/lovers/friends. There is the noise of guilt and frustrations...and...of the people we once were. There is the very loud noise of expectations. And the even louder noises of self doubt (who does she think she is? you're thinking about doing what? etc) But when we turn all of that off...what is left is...ourSELVES, our heart, our passions...our very souls. 

 Right now,  my journey to self looks like this

*heart/love/family

*soul

*courage

*vulnerability

*truth

*facing my fears

*being present

*community

*creating

*trusting mySELF

* sharing of my stories

*self love/self acceptance

 I think that one of the true unexpected joys of this journey of getting older is that I am learning how to turn off all that noise and listen to my inner voice. She's getting stronger and she's starting to shout above the noise!! How about you? What is calling you? Write it down ...say it out loud...and then see how you can start making it happen!

creative voice+ courage= fly!

                                                   (Courage to Find her Creative Voice, 
                                              mixed media, archival prints available here!)
I wrote this post when I first started my blog and I hardly had anyone reading so I wanted to re-post it. It still holds true for me (maybe even more so) today and I know so many of us are searching for our creative voices. For me, it has been a very personal  journey; one that has been full of shaky self confidence, doubts and fears. But I find that the more I use my creative voice, the stronger She becomes. It requires us to be vulnerable, wise, trusting, brave, authentic... whether it's in our writing, our art making, our relationships, our loving.  We are all works in progress...growing and evolving...taking tiny steps on this journey. Here is the post in it's entirety.
 Blogging has given me the courage to find my creative voice. I have always loved photography, painting, drawing, sketching and the written word. Here on my blog, I can develop, combine, explore and share all of this. Just a few days ago I was seriously considering shutting down my blog. Not that I don't appreciate and love this sacred space that I have created...but I was feeling overwhelmed with all that I have going on right now. I happened to pick up the current issue of Artful Blogger and as I read through the articles I realized that, through my blog, I am developing my creative voice.  When I started out, I had no idea this would happen but I find myself going down the magical road of discovery.

                                               (full-of-courage-Tara ...flying!) 
 Here I can explore ideas, post photos, write out my innermost thoughts and dreams or even the mundane aspects of my life. It is narcissistic, yes, but it also stokes the fires of creativity. Here there are communities of artists, writers, photographers...all willing to share, encourage, reach out...Through my blog I can participate in group events and challenges, read and comment on others' blogs and learn, learn, learn!! Here I can see the world through the eyes of each unique individual and share my creative voice and vision as well. I am going to cultivate this sacred space and see where it takes me...both within and outside myself...I am finding the courage to develop my creative voice and it feels good and powerful and right.

                                   (The painting reads "you have wings to fly...FLY"
                                I painted the original for Tara and it hangs in her nursery. 
                                                    Archival prints available here!)

LATER:  Okay, I have been thinking about this post and want to add that by no means does this mean that I don’t have fears about this whole process. Nor does it mean that I don’t have those “monsters under the bed” taking all sorts of shapes and voices. What it does mean is that my creative voice is getting stronger every day, with every post I write, with every act of vulnerability and honesty. Every time I reach out to another blogger, participate in a challenge or encourage and share with someone else-my creative voice thrives and takes on a life of it’s own. It springs forth as a flower in full bloom, maybe even a tree! So now when those “weeds” of negativity spring forth, I don’t feed or pay attention to them. They will probably always be there but get smaller and more insignificant with time as my creative voice gets stronger. This is made all the more powerful by the fact that I come from a culture and family of origin where women are not given a voice, where it is looked upon as a horrible act (punishable by all forms of violence and ostracism) for a woman to be outspoken, intelligent, strong, honest, original, forthright…So the act of me cultivating my creative voice is not only important, it is lifesaving.

 

(it takes courage to create)

                                                                

our new fave place

 

(explorer girl Tara)

Last weekend when I attended the Inner Gardening Retreat, I discovered this absolute oasis (thanks Patty!!)

Well, Tara and I have been back there 3 times last week and ...we are officially in love with the place!! The philosophy of the park is to combine art + nature + people!!! How over the top fantastic is that?? 

I want to teach Tara the value of our connection with nature and the earth. I was so fortunate to have had two people in my early childhood years who introduced me to the magic and the mysteries of the natural world. It has sustained me through long hard times and has become a portal through which I experience the Universe and ...mySELF.

(Saturday morning art class out in nature) 

We attended a recycled art class on Saturday morning...children made musical instruments out of everyday household items you would generally recycle. They also offer classes on gardening, music, bread making...

There are rolling hills, lush tropical flowers and foliage, a waterfall, a Lily pond, huge fantastic sculptures, tons of walking trails, a musical garden that you just have to experience to believe.

(Tara playing the whale drum in the musical garden)

The Stein Musical Garden was created with the intention of fostering children to enjoy listening to and creating music. It works-Tara has a blast here!!

                                                            (how amazing is this?)
I think that most children, given the opportunity, are nature lovers. It just makes me so sad that there are millions of children around the world (and even right here in the U.S.) that don't even have access to safe playgrounds, trees, gardening etc.
* If any of you live in So Cal and are interested in attending these classes for children, you can get more info here.

Interview with Lis-part 2: the Creative Process

                                                                    ("red hand") 
I am so very excited to post part 2 of my interview with Lis...juicy, insightful, honest!!! It's all about creativity; the path, the process, the practicalities, the passion. I deeply believe that creating takes big huge courage and in the true sharing of our journey (the failures, joy, pain and successes)-we inspire others. Since most of us are interested in the creative life, there are such gems and germs of truth in her answers. She's a mamma (to one super adorable Cowgirl!), yogini, creative soul...amazing woman! And I am just loving these pics BTW-aren't they just superbly...delicious??
* Oh! and you can read part 1 of my interview with Lis right here!

                                                                    ("thriving")

 I understand that you are in the process of "birthing your artistic self"-how fascinating! I think so many of us are on that very same journey. *Can you share what led you to begin this journey?  

This notion of “birthing” my artistic self came about during the second course of Fearless Painting by Connie Hozvicka called Deep.  It is a process where we are in continual dialogue with the painting  and with our Intuitive Self.  It requires a constant letting go of any sense of control and surrendering to the process and seeing where it takes you.  You keep digging deeper and deeper into yourself and it is both exhilarating and nerve wracking.  I had no idea where I was going and I had to learn to trust in myself, trust in the process, in creativity and in Connie.  Out of that experience, a new sense of myself started to emerge and it was then that I felt like I was in the midst of birthing my creative self.   I’m not sure I made the conscious decision to embark upon this path! And it may be an epic labour!  I do know I yearned to reconnect with the little girl within me who loved making art and believed she could be an artist.  She got lost and one day I realized I needed to find her.  

                                                              ("work in progress")

* what are some practical things you do to facilitate this process?

I have been fortunate to have stumbled upon the right teachers at the right time.  I think it is essential to find others who inspire and support this process and who can guide you – if only by their example – on how to nurture your creative self.  I have taken a wide range of online courses.  It is a tricky thing because there is so much out there, I could do nothing but take ecourses and be busy creating.  But I try to balance out developing my interests and skills with appropriate courses.  I have become more selective in what I take as I now have a number of projects and ideas I want to explore. 

                                                              ("me and Goddess")

*  what are some of  the events that led you to declare this journey to yourSELF and the world?

Essential for me is routine and accountability.  Blogging has been a great way to keep myself accountable and creating.  For example, I had this idea to paint 49 paintings by my 49^th birthday later this year. As soon as the idea popped into my head, I declared my intention on my blog.  Even if no one else remembers it, I know I committed to this project and I am posting updates on my progress.  So what I blog about is more for me and my own growth.  

                                                                    ("strength")

 I also have set routines I try to follow.  Fridays are my sacred creating days.  I know that day is set aside for me and my creativity and there is no compromising on that agreement.  I just finished The Artist’s Way and I am a total convert to writing Morning Pages and the Artist’s date (which I like to think of as a random act of self-kindness.)  And I cannot forget the best support for my creativity – my daughter.  This whole journey began from making art together and she continues to inspire me while helping me remain light and playful. We are now embracing our mission to find, celebrate and create joy everyday.  We are Joy Warriors and we accept all who want to join us!  This is how I keep the birthing process moving along.  It can be intense, painful, a struggle but always always it must be joyful. If it isn’t, then I have made a wrong turn. 

 * all photos in this post courtesy of Lis (just gorgeous pics!!)

dear Lis-thank you so much for granting me this interview and giving us insight into your creative journey .

today...

hello...
*happy feet
*blowing bubbles in the wind
*brave heart
* smoked turkey sandwhich
* paint splattered hands
* a cute pair of shoes (on sale!!)
* green grass in sunshine

creating fearless art

 

(a page from my art journal) 

" I am the dance step of the paintbrush singing. I am the sculpture of the song, the flame breath of words giving new life to paper. Yes, I am the creativity that never dies. I am the creativity that keeps my people alive."- Alexis De Veaux

 I recently picked up a copy of Somerset Studio and the entire issue was on creating fearless art! I read every page...cover to cover! It's something I want to do too...be brave in my creating. I suspect that many of us feel that way. It may not be painting particularly but...maybe writing poetry or signing up for a pottery class or...just living a braver life! So I wanted to share  a page from my art journal on creating fearless art and...I think all of these can be applied to...well, anything really!

* make mistakes! make tons of them! it's how we learn and hey...some of those "mistakes" turn out to be happy discoveries.

* have courage to work through the "ugly" phase. Sometimes we may feel as if it will never turn out the way we want or we have no idea what we are doing. But...who knows what's waiting at the other end if we just stay the course.

                                                 (brave girl + brave life = brave art)
* it is the process that's important. Not every painting is going to work out; some may be quite hideous! But we may have to paint 10 canvases to produce a really amazing one.
*bring your heart into your art! The reason why some artists still speak to us (Van Gogh, Frieda Kahlo, Modigliani...) is because they had the courage to bring all of who they were to their art; their frailness and vulnerabilities...their human-ness.

 

(my girl Tara...she's fearless in creating!)

* don't remain stagnant, keep on growing! There is so much to learn and experience and...the person I am today is certainly not  the same person I was last year.
 *paint over the good stuff! Don't become too attached to any one part of a painting...sometimes we have to get rid of the stuff we like to make room for the new.
Well, what do you think? Is there more you would like to add to my list? I would love to hear about it!

mini retreat goodness

 

(isn't this just dreamy?)

This Saturday I attended a mini retreat hosted by Patty . The weather was perfect and it was held in an old house in the stunningly gorgeous Brengle Terrace Gardens. Of course I meant to take a gazillion pics but I was too busy gabbing and creating and soaking it all in.

                                               (The Blessing Tree, outdoor sculpture)

There were honest talks and sharing, a waterfall and some yoga...a deliciously satisfying lunch and soul-full talks. There are stunningly beautiful outdoor sculptures all over the garden...in perfect harmony with nature yet still making a statement. There was art making and laugh making and such good energy. Well...before you know it...it was all over!!

  (a pic of the gang of us!)

Meanwhile...Tara spent the whole day with Tim. I was a bit concerned because this was the longest I had ever left her...but boy! did she get the royal treatment! Hair salon (!!!), new shoes and lunch with daddy!

*Hope you all had a great weekend too!

when "not good enough" is...enough

 

(Bloom True, archival prints available soon!) 

These past few days have been...strange. I have been so exhausted but...too tired to notice that I'm tired! Has that ever happened to you? Recently it seems that I can sleep for  a hundred years!. Well...in the middle of all this tiredness, I have been feeling "not good enough". At first, I thought that my post tonight was going to be a pic and a quote or poem. Sometimes that's all I can muster. But since I really try to bring all of mySELF to this space...I want to claim my "not enough-ness" and say...here life, I offer you my inadequacies and fears and insecurities and...it's enough.

                                      (Wisdom Seeker, archival prints available here!)

Lately my not-enough-ness has been looking something like this:

I am not a good enough wife, mother, friend, ____(insert word here). I am not pretty enough, smart enough, funny enough, ____(insert word here). Shouldn't I have figured my life out by now...at least some tiny fraction of it? Shouldn't I be more...assertive, courageous, funny, ____(insert word here). Shouldn't I be painting more, writing more, reading more? I have e-mails to get to, mail to get off, blogs to read...But deep in the thick muck of all this...messiness and ugliness, inertia and self-doubt...lies the brave self I am seeking. She's there somewhere waiting for just this opportunity to show herSELF!

                                    

When I can claim all parts of mySELF, my journey, my experiences...when I can sit with these orphaned pieces,  give them voice and accept them...then I can teach Tara to do the same. It's a lesson that shows up again and again in my life...do you know what I mean? So as I write this..I hope that my "not enough-ness" is enough. And my wiser SELF says back to me: it is, it is, it is...and so is yours.