there is heart in hope

I have written about this issue so many times on my blog...but every single time I start...I am at a loss for words. How do I write about this? How can I say what I want to say without using so many numbers and statistics. Over 50 million (yes, million!!), 70 million or 100 million girls and women missing?? No-one really knows the numbers. I mean, there is no real way to calculate female fetuses and girls that are killed in the womb through sex elective abortions. There is no way to tell how many baby girls are suffocated to death...it's all very hidden so it's impossible to get a real number. But when you see a very skewed gender ratio in India and China...you start to get a clearer picture of the magnitude of the gendercide that is happening right now halfway across the world. But really, it's only a heartbeat away...because these girls are our daughters...these women are our sisters. This is what's true.                                                   

                                            (a sketch I did called... I am your Sister)
When we were in Vancouver a few months ago, I went to see a special screening of the movie It's a Girl. Afterwards..I plunged into a dark place. I cried and cursed and ranted on and on. Then I cried + cursed some more. It broke my heart. And it pissed me off. And in between all of that...I  was ever so thankful that Tara was not born in a culture and society were this was permitted. But then something happened...a shift in me, in my heart + mind. There are millions of Taras that are not permitted to be born there...that are never allowed this most basic right...the right to live!!! And I realised that it is not enough, not enough, not enough...for me to be grateful that my daughter was not born there.

Rita Banerji, who is doing the heart wrenching work of addressing this atrocity, has been trying to get heard at the United Nations. And...it's finally happened!!! Currently the U.N. does not recognise gender based genocide as a human right violation. Rita is trying to change that. She is going to present this genocide at a U.N. conference in Vienna and she needs your help!! Can you please sign this petition right here  to say that women's rights are human rights!! Because there is strength in our voices, there is courage in our actions and there is heart in hope.

reviewing my word for 2012

                                         (what if she allowed herSELF to shine?, mixed media)
I have been reviewing my word for this past year which was...OPEN. At first, I really didn't want to pick a word! Why just one word, I thought. I went back and forth, back and forth...you can read the full post here until finally... I decided on my word. Now...looking back on the year and already thinking about what my word for 2013 will be ( pssst! I'm pretty sure I know what it is!!)...I am positively amazed at how this word has guided me in...well...everything!! Even now...I don't know if I picked the word or if that word picked me!!! It started showing up everywhere from my journal pages to books/magazines etc. And there was a deep longing in me to open up my heart + life. To reclaim mySELF, give mySELF permission to change and simply...share more. It was allowing myself to shine! Of course, I didn't know all this when I picked my word!!

I  did a very revealing interview with Rita Banerji that evolved over several months. Some of my answers were initially part of our private e-mails that went back and forth...that I eventually decided to make public. I am so proud of this interview!! It was a healing, brave and very candid interview. It was laying claim to my stories; a journey to SELF. It was my deepest hope that by speaking truthfully about so many deeply painful, shameful and sensitive issues...I would inspire others to do the same. We just never know who is reading and listening to our words, do we?? BTW...it wasn't easy being this open...but whenever I faltered...I revisited my word for the year and allowed that to be my guide. I also realised that healing is not a linear process (at least, not for me!!) but one that is more ...one step forward, 2 steps back!! However...if we take enough of these steps-we can look back and see the length + breadth + depth of our journey.

This past year...I also became more comfortable with mySELF. As a mom, wife, artist, blogger...I became more open to all my parts + pieces...even the ones buried and long forgotten. I read Gary Zuvac's Seat of the Soul  and he devotes 2 entire chapters to intention. I started to understand how important it is!!! The seeds that birth our entire life...it all starts with an intention!!!! powerful stuff!! Looking back over the year...I see how my intention of being open...shaped my thoughts/actions. Now I am all about intention!! Before I start painting...I light candles and hold an intention in my heart and mind. When I wake up in the morning...I focus on my intention. It's become an intrinsic part of my life...and always leads me back to center. A big huge surprise..was how much more I opened up in my marriage and mothering...in all of my relationships, really! Layers and layers of self doubt, insecurity and "not enoughs" just peeled away to reveal the heart of who I am; passionate, very opinionated (!!!), sensitive and ...uh...quirky!!!

And my art and writing became much much more open as well!!! I started sharing pieces of my work that I would normally keep (very) private. And all my broken/hopeful/magical/painful pieces started seeping into my art/writing/photos. I started opening up! In tiny steps...I became brave. And each small step led to larger + larger steps. I wrote an article where I really dug deep and unearthed some of my stories. I submitted a (very) private journal that altered the course of my art. I started opening up to possibilities.

I wrote a lot on my blog about being broken, re-writing our stories and how our pain can fuel our creativity. I wrote about politics, issues that were dear to my heart and surrendering to the moment... to what is. I truly believe that none of these posts would have been written if I hadn't set the intention at the start of the year!!! Our intention is  kind of like a magical key that unlocks our stories, our potential...our magic!!!

Dear OPEN:

Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to see all parts of mySELF with clear eyes and  a loving heart. Thank you for coming into my life just exactly when I needed you!! When my family/art/writing/friendships and life so desperately needed you! You have brought with you vulnerability and strength...hope and pain. You have taught me to accept what is...without judgement and bitterness (still working on this one!!!). You have been a compassionate yet willing teacher and i am so very grateful for your gifts. Even though the new year is just around the corner and I am going to pick a new word...I am not done with you yet!!!! Oh No!!! I will carry you forward in the deepest recesses of my heart and you will be the framework for all of my intentions going forward. xxx

 *I'm deciding on my word for 2013...are you???

fierce ...with heart (my interview with Rita Banerji)

When Rita Banerji asked to interview me many months ago I was surprised, overwhelmed and just a little bit intimidated. I "met" Rita last year when I interviewed her for my blog (which you can read in two parts...here and here). Ever since, we have been corresponding and have become firm friends, supporters of each other and soul sisters. I am such an admirer of this sister soldier who draws light on the subject of the genocide against India's girls. She is brave, brilliant and full of heart.

We have been working on this interview for months; she asked me these questions as part of a conversation that went back and forth. Some of my answers were initially part of private e-mails to her that I later decided to include in the interview. She asked me all sorts of candid, thoughtful and out of the box questions (art, apartheid, violence, motherhood) and I reached deep down inside of mySELF to give her my responses.  I went through a minor evolution as I did this interview and am very proud of the way it turned out...it's fierce with heart. It was quite painful to relive parts of my past but also cathartic. I  hope you will read it (right here...scroll down to July 2 2012) and tell me what you think.

silent cries: the gendercide in India, a print giveaway and how each of us can make a difference

(It's a Girl-Documentary on the genocide against girls)

When Rita Banerji sent me a link to this clip a few weeks ago, I watched it twice and felt my heart drop. I wanted to bury mySELF with my grief and just...cry. I did cry. Sometimes I feel so hopeles. The U.N. now estimates that over 200 million (yes! 200 MILLION) girls are missing due to sex selective murder. The main culprits? India and China. I wasn't able to write this post until now because I have been alternating between being totally pissed off and utterly in despair. I have written about this issue many times on my blog...here, here and here . So...how can I write about this very same issue, that is only getting worst, in a different way. How can I say something new about this atrocity while still driving home this point right here..girls are being slaughtered in the millions and...nothing is being done! Will anything I say or do...make a difference at all? I have no idea...but here's what I do know.
Gender based violence affects us all. If we don't speak up for these baby girls who are being slaughtered in the tens of millions...who will speak up for us when the time comes? If we don't try to do something, will there be anyone left who will? If we are to raise strong sons and daughters...then we ourSELVES have to be strong. It's not just happening over there, you see. Because, once we become aware of a situation such as this,  if we don't speak out... say something, do something, pray something, act something, fight for something...then it's all happening right here...in our hearts and souls.

(Petals in the Dust-genocide against India's daughters)

I came across this story right here that I want to share with all of you. It's a Japanese parable that activist, Nobel prize winner and all round kick-ass amazing woman Wangari Maathai often quotes.

 "A big fire was destroying the forest. all the animals fled, except the hummingbird. It flew to the river, picked up one drop of water in it's tiny beak, flew back, and poured that drop on the fire. Again and again it returned to the river, each time scooping up a single drop and pouring it on the fire. The other animals watched from the far shore, laughing and mocking. The harder they laughed, the harder the hummingbird worked. "just what do you think you're doing?" the animals asked. Without stopping her work, she answered calmly, "I'm doing what I can." 
" That's all any of us can do: What we can." says Maathai.

(Brave, mixed media archival print)

So dear reader, please go over here to sign the petition against the genocide against girls in India and then leave a comment on my blog or my Facebook page to enter a free print giveaway (any print of your choice from my Etsy shop!). If you would like to read my interview (in 3 parts) with Ms. Banerji, you can go here, here and here.
To find out more about this genocide against India's daughters go here, here or here .
*And spread the word if you can...link up, tweet and FB it...my heart thanks you.

* 50 million missing website

* Rita Banerji's book 

*Rita's blog

these are our daughters

This is my baby girl  Tara when she turned one. Isn't she... precious? Irreplaceable? Full of potential and promise? Of course she is! There is absolutely no doubt in my mind and heart...but not everyone feels this way...There are millions and millions of little Indian girls exactly like her who will never see their first birthday..or who will never be born for that matter.

"How could fifty million plus women just disappear from a country in a period that spans less than a century? That number is about the size of the entire populations of Sweden, Austria, Switzerland, Belgium and Portugal put together. Occasionally one reads in Indian papers about baby body parts being found in a well in the compound of some clinic, or a young woman dying of burns under suspicious circumstances due to a supposed kitchen accident, but there is nothing in the news that suggests a blood-bath on the scale of a genocide. "

                                              -Rita Banerji from 50 million missing

(3 Tamil Women,watercolor and collage)

This is a subject so close to my heart...I can barely breathe when I start to think about it. I get equal parts...furious and a deep deep sadness; heartbreak. Gender based violence occurs all over the world...I am sure we are all aware of that. But in India (and Indian communities everywhere)...There is a silent genocide/gendercide going on right now. I wrote all about it in this post last year...right here .

There are facts , newspaper  articles, statistics...but what do we know of the millions and millions of lives lost...a genocide that leaves no footprint behind because it is so hidden...subversive...Murdering babies because they are girls; female infanticide. There are also sex selective abortions, dowry deaths...on and on. A conservative estimate is ...there are 50 million females missing. Just like that...gone!  Why are we so easily discarded? Do we have no value and worth? What is this hatred that murders our daughters and sisters in such large numbers? Who will bear witness to these untold stories, these unborn lives, this unimaginable violence? Who will speak up for these unborn girl babies? Anyone?

It's been 4 years since I did my art exhibition Shakti that focused on this very issue. I have to admit...while I am very aware of the situation...it can feel overwhelming. What can I-one person-do? What can any one person do against a culture, society and country so steeped in centuries old misogyny?

Well, that's where Rita Banerji comes in! When I first found out about her and the brave and tireless work  she does...I was in absolute awe. She is brilliant, outspoken...a powerhouse of  a woman. And she actually agreed to do an interview with me!! She started the 50 million campaign to raise awareness and stop this genocide that has no end in sight. Please stop by tomorrow when I will post the first segment of this amazing interview. In the meantime...you can go here to sign the petition against this massive genocide against us. Because it is against all of us women. These are our daughters...

Please sign the petition!