My He(ART)-Full Life

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

giving ourselves permission to change

(on my easel right now)
A long time ago I read an interview with Oprah where she said that she had to actually give herself permission to change. She had to consciously sit herself down and actually give herself permission (!!!) to evolve + redefine herself. Oprah also said that it was one of the most powerful, life changing things she ever did. I didn't quite get it at the time but now I think I more fully understand it. She spoke of how we allow our past and the people who were/are in our lives to define us and then it's we ourSELVES who don't allow growth. Of course a lot of times others don't feel comfortable with these changes and keep on trying to put us in those same cubbyholes because that's how they relate to us. So...a lot of times we stay stuck in those boxes because we fear being alone. but those who truly love us will support + encourage or growth...don't we deep down know??

So...that's what I am doing over here. Consciously giving mySELF permission to change!!! All these stories and tapes that I have playing in my head...out, out, out!!! Starting off small but building up bigger. For instance... All  my life I have never worn hats because (a long long long time ago) someone told me I looked awful in them. But I love hats!! I had a collection of them that I never wore but I am now starting to . Same thing with prints. And when Tara looks at me + puts her tiny hands around my face to tell me how beautiful I heart melts and I am reassured and reminded that the spirit sees beauty where there is love. And I am using paint colors that I normally don't use...color combinations that I would never dream of...letting my heart + intuition guide me.

I also cleaned up my studio table, rearranged my paints and brushes and put this gorgeous silk yellow + read sari on my chair. i needed some red/yellow (Shakti) energy and now when I sit down to paint...I already feel powerful + different!!! It's amazing what energy color carries. I also picked up some fantastically gorgeous Amy Butler fabric that I am going to turn into cushions, a skirt, cover my studio table with ...just want to have it all around me.

And speaking of changes...this is my little girl Tara who has sprouted up like a beanstalk in the past month!!! I can't believe it!! She takes a size 5 in some of her pants now (!!!!) and she's only 3!!!  No more baby fat or chubbiness left at all. Very grown up and little Miss Independent.  Waaaaah!!!!


laurie said...

i feel like i am ready to "sprout" - to leave behind who i became in order to please others and embrace who i really am, for better or worse. your words encourage me to continue allowing myself to do this.

SooZeQue said...

We all need change! I feel it's what fuels me - although I've never asked or needed anyone permission. I guess that's what being raised by 3 strong women does for ya. Ya just kick ass and don't bother to take names! ha ha. Glad you're wearing hats and changing it up and smiling thru all of it. P.S.... they do grow up way to fast. Also, thinking of heading to Santa Fe from around Aug 23thru30th. Not final yet... just fyi. :)

ArtPropelled said...

Soraya, I imagine you look stunning in a hat. Glad you are giving yourself permission to be who you want to be. Phew, even I can see Tara has grown tall in a matter of months.

Meegan, Blue Moon Mama said...

Nora is about to move up to size 5t dresses. I think she's just 2. Everyone we meet guesses her age at 4. Wyatt is already 31 inches tall and looks like a two year old and he's just one. They are growing up too fast!

I am working on giving myself permission to change as well. It's harder than it sounds isn't it? I think my upcoming 40th birthday is acting as a big catalyst for me. Alot of stuff is not working for me, lots of issues need addressing & I'm feeling a need to dig deeper, excavate my authentic self, and find my personal power. Soulodge has been huge in this process. I feel like I'm finding my tribe finally (& you are definitely a part of my tribe! Thank you for being an inspiration!)