Then I took a painting class (Herstory) with Danielle Daniel and...oh! my!!! I just knew she is the real deal but I was really blown away by all she shared with us. The exercises really helped me articulate how to paint my stories...the stories that only I can share and bring into being. Just loved loved this class! Her prompts, techniques and soul sharing opened my heart in a way that allowed me to see the possibilities in my own creative journey. love this girl! thanks so much Danielle! And my 3rd e-course??? A Lifeclass with Oprah and Dr. Brene Brown!!!!! Okay...this class just ended about a week ago and was an absolute lifechanger, heartchanger and game changer. For real. I want to write a separate blog post on how infinitely powerful this class was for me. I hung on to every word, took notes diligently and had an infinite number of aha moments. There's just something about the way Brene explains things that just makes you go..."Oh...I get it!". All the knowing in the world doesn't amount to much if I can't put it into practice....especially when it's impossibly difficult! Vulnerability, courage, daring greatly, setting boundaries...I mean seriously...this class is so needed! Hello gratitude!
And just like that...my gorgeous sweet baby doll grew up!! Honestly...it makes me radically proud + devastatingly sad all at once and I tried my best to give both of those emotions space to live in my heart. 5 years ago this time I was so pregnant and had no idea the infinite ways my heart would expand...had absolutely no idea how I would be utterly transformed. She birthed me, this sweet girl...and she continues to do so every single day. She is super smart, kind, curious, sassy, loving and totally into all things pink + sparkly + girly. She loves storytelling (the listening + the telling), playing, art-ing and collecting stuffed animals. Mothering...parenting...is difficult. No joke. It takes commitment + kindness + tenacity...an unending resolve to fail + get up and try again. But the joy and love and delight I take in being Tara's mom is a gift I am forever grateful for. She lights me up.
My art started off with a bang this year...I couldn't believe that I was on the cover of Art Journaling back in January. A totally unexpected dream come true! And when I picked my word for 2013 DARE (!!!) ...I started daring to dream. There were so many amazing opportunities this year that came my way...I was published here (Somerset Apprentice) , here (Somerset Gallery) , here (Cloth, Paper, Scissors) + here (Of Note Magazine). Plus I started selling my work at a gallery. But...about halfway through the year...I stalled. I didn't have the time + energy to focus on my art...I fell into a sort of creative rut...Tara needed me more and I focused on her and...that's when I felt called to do less in my studio. And it was all okay with me. I started practicing self care, listening to what I needed and knew that everything has it's path. So very very grateful for this year in creative news, though:)
Also...this year I made a conscious commitment to self care. For the first 3 years of Tara's life...I practiced self care in snips + snatches. Mothering, moving, marriage and painting left me with no time for taking care of me. Totally normal and all too common with women, right?? But this year felt like the right time to carve out some self care time. I started working out (it was hit or miss the first half of the year) but then I buckled down and decided to adopt the "just do it!" mantra. Tim has been my inspiration because he is the most disciplined person I know...no matter what...he's down in the gym every morning. Thankfully...we have a full gym in our basement...so I just get myself down there and that's half the battle won! But self care is so much more...right?? I started using photowalks as a self care tool...,scheduling much needed annual check-ups that I usually put off, pampering myself more, taking care of myself spiritually and mentally (hello reading, writing, setting boundaries!!).Hello spending more time outdoors under the heavens and trees and sun...hello reading poetry aloud, doing absolutely nothing but feel the wind in my hair + the sun on my face, hello music, love + laughter. hello silliness + joy + playing. hello life!
And just a few weeks ago I thought that my word for 2014 would be surrender. It seemed so what I need in the coming year...I was certain. But then this other word...FAITH...kept on showing up in various ways in my life as well...in my conversations with friends...writing in my journal...the books + poetry I've been reading. And I guess faith + surrender are very closely related...one leaning into the other. And I guess I had to be okay with surrender to get to faith...because, quite frankly, a few short years ago both of these words would have sent me running. But now they both fit me comfortably...so I decided to pick 2 words for the year ahead...surrender and faith. There are so many different changes and possibilities (known + unknown) looming ahead...so many of which we have no control over so it seems perfect that I choose surrender (as in let go) and then faith (as in trust). It all feels right. But of course, as I have discovered in the past...our words can take on a whole new life of their own and turn everything on it's head...in the best possible way giving us just what we need.
So...dear 2013...it is with a heart full of gratitude that I say goodbye to you. You have been so kind to me and my family...showing us all good health, love, forgiveness...growth. Even the difficult time (and there were many) were gifts that provided opportunities for transformation. Thank you for the heartaches + tears too...they were their own revelations...bringing forth courage, vulnerability, strength. Of course...there is a bittersweet lingering...saying goodbyes are never easy. As I step into the New Year...my heart is full of hope + promise because here we stand...on the cusp of possibilities. Happy New Year, friends!! xxx
1 comment:
You always have such a way of articulating what I cannot say. Blessings to you, Tara & Tim going forward. I hope to move forward and work on those things that I have so missed and find myself again...slow process and many obstacles. Hugs my dear friend..
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