My He(ART)-Full Life

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

published (!!!), a rejection letter + forging new paths

 I am super excited, humbled and honored to be featured in the Summer 2013 Somerset Studio Gallery!!! It's one of my all time fave. creative mags for inspiration, techniques and eye candy. I am so very grateful to be given this opportunity! A huge thank you to all the folks who make this magazine possible...from the technical expertise to the photography to the 101 things (I can only imagine!!) that go into the production of this gorgeous magazine. And a special thank you to editor Jennifer Jackson Taylor for all your hard work. I hope you get to pick up a copy,'s chock full of great stuff, I promise. 
*Also available in Canada!!!!

 I wrote this article many months ago and am loving the layout and feel!! It's all about how I turned a very frustrating period (think...creative block gone wild, moving in + deciding to stay!!!) into an opportunity for growth. I called it creating Soul Biographies...because I think all the work we do as creatives are ...just that! This isn't the best pic. but I just received a copy and couldn't wait to share!! Hate that reflective glare's a full 5 page spread (p. 30-35) that I am so very proud of.

 Okay here's the flip side to all of my over the moon happiness!!! I also received  a rejection letter a few days ago that completely crushed me. Seriously. I fell apart in tears and ...caved into the imposter syndrome to the nth power and on and on. As rejection letters was really very nice: sugary sweet and very polite. Along the lines of we love your work and appreciate your creative energy etc etc. But still...I fell apart. I took it personally. I was crushed. I know it's par for the course. I know it's part and parcel of creative life. Of life, for that matter!!! hurt so much! And I was depressed and losing faith in mySELF. In my work. In my path. I crushed up the letter...and then straightened it out. Then crushed it up again...on and on. A little silly now??? maybe...but there you have it:) And sure...I indulged in a healthy dose of self pity, tears + chocolate...

Then I came across this poem:
"I go where I love and where I am loved,
into the snow:
I go to the things I love
with no thought of duty or pity"  -H.D. The Flowering of the Rod

 And I realized...I love painting!!!! I love opening jars of paint, love looking at paint...dipping paintbrush and fingers into colors...vermillion, ochres....magentas. Love creating!!!!! Love bringing from...nothing...something. I love my creative life...with all of it's frustrations and tears. With all of the insecurities and deep rooted anxieties. With all the joy + love + excitements + surprises. I lean into all of it with the deepest longings of my deepest heart.'s not really about achieving all of my goals, or getting published (although that is super duper sweet!) or or or...It's about knowing that I am living my life exactly the way  want to...on my own terms. It's about putting one foot in front of the other...daring greatly (both my word for the year and a book that I adore) along the way. It's about tossing my hat in the ring, living authentically and doing my best. And with that...I feel deeply in awe and full of gratitude that I actually get to create.

I am ecstatic to get back to my studio open up my jars of paint, turn on my music...with sunlight streaming through my windows....and put paint to canvas. I am forging new paths...creatively and otherwise and it feels great. Scary!!! But also...great; alive!!! Stepping out of my comfort zone and... into the unknown. Immersing mySELF in nature and light + music + books...poetry and writing. Artist dates and mothering and marriage. Allowing.

1 comment:

patty said...

Well, congrats on being published...looks like this is starting to be a sort of "regular" thing.! I know the rejection probably cancelled out all those successes in your mind, at least temporarily.. but when you get far enough away from it to see the "big picture", you will see all those shining successes and know that this is just a little blip in the road. You will learn from it and move on... I believe that with all my heart!