My He(ART)-Full Life



Friday, April 29, 2011

everything royal

(Watching the Royal wedding)
Tara and I have been sick with the flu bug so today, we huddled up on the couch and watched everything royal! I remember watching Princess Di's wedding...I was just a girl and we were still in South Africa. In my young mind and imagination..I just could not believe that here was  a real, true to life princess! Of course at that time, no-one could predict the horrific tragedy of it all. Not just Diana's untimely death...but the pain and loneliness of being married to a man who so clearly did not love her. The last time I even paid any attention at all to the Royal family was when Diana died...but today I felt so elated and joyful to see her son marry. It was a little sad too...because Princess Di was not there.
But...I loved everything! Kate's  (oops! Its' Catherine now!) dress (stunning and elegant, traditional and modern all at once), the double kiss on the balcony and all the pomp. Of course it's not fair to compare Kate and Diana but...it's inevitable. Kate is much older than poor Diana was (I mean...who knows anything at 19??!) and seems so much more...her own woman. I so sincerely hope that their marriage lasts. I think Diana's story taught us that there's no such thing as fairy tales (except...well, in fairy tales!!) but...there is love and commitment and enduring friendship. There is respect and a life built together over years. That real life is so much more complicated and joyous and better than any spun up story. And we all just love a good love story. I think with William and Kate...we have one!

Thursday, April 28, 2011

some days...


"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields...Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness."
                                                                                            - Mary Oliver
some days...
*are more difficult than others to get a good start to the day
*need a little more motivation + inspiration
*I feel like I could really use some help in figuring things out
today is one of those days...know what I mean?
That's where a little bit of pretty and a gorgeous piece of poetry can really lift me up.

Monday, April 25, 2011

Interview with Jen Lee

"I hope you will go out and let stories happen to you, and that you will work them, water them with your blood and tears and you laughter till they bloom, till you yourself burst into bloom. "
                                                                                                -Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes

                                             (Storyteller, Archival Print available here!)
Like so many of us, I place a high value on storytelling. When we lay claim to our stories with truth and vulnerability, when we share them and the lessons we have learned from them with clarity and courage...we open ourSELVES up to powerful forces within us. It is in the claiming and the telling that we can create the magic of healing and connecting. When we collect all of our pieces; our shame and resilience, our joy and vulnerability, our potential and our promise...then we can truly see ourSELVES. We, all of us, are storytellers. It is in our collective history and we, yes we!!, are the story keepers. So you see, when I first stumbled across storyteller, writer, photographer, truth-teller Jen Lee's blog about 6 months ago...I was smitten! She was gracious enough to allow me to interview her, so...here goes!
                                                                       (Jen Lee)
Do you feel that the role (and the art) of storytelling in our culture has been diminished or do you feel that blogs have replaced oral storytelling as the forum for claiming and sharing our stories?
Storytelling is definitely experience a resurgence in our culture as we reclaim the value of narrative. I don't think blogs have replaced oral storytelling at all, but I do believe they have played an important role and ushered us into a new era of media that is no longer under the complete control of gatekeepers. Our access to people's stories was previously quite limited--one could only access memoirs of people who had done something "of note". But through blogs we remembered that you don't have to have climbed Mt. Everest to tell a story that is compelling or universal. Early bloggers wrote candidly (unedited) about their often ordinary or common experiences, or they wrote about topics no one else would touch, and we were captivated.

 Do you feel that maintaining your authentic voice requires that you reveal all in your storytelling or can we just share the lessons learned? I think so many of us struggle with wanting to share our truth while still protecting the privacy of our family members.
I think this is a common struggle--it's definitely one I share. I'm not in the Reveal-All camp. Privacy IS a consideration, especially as we consider the impact our words can have on others, and the wide availability and permanence of online media, especially. When I think about keeping my voice intact, I think about finding a way to say what I need to say so that I don't feel silenced or censored. That doesn't mean I say all those things publicly, and sometimes I may write more about the experience than the exact situation, as you mentioned. I try to preserve my freedom *and* honor the connections which are so important to me.

                                                       (Finding Your Voice, Multimedia Course)
How do you prepare yourself for the writing process? Do you set aside a certain # of hours daily to write no matter what or do you write when you feel like it?
My work now has a lot of ebb and flow. Some seasons are more dominated by writing, some by teaching. I have really wordless spells (often on the tail end of the previous two) where I do more with photography or design and layout work. I used to worry a lot about writing every day, especially when I felt wordless, but I've learned over time that I usually need to rest and refill my well in those times and the words always come back. When I haven't been writing enough, I've learned to recognize that twitchy feeling I get as a result, and I attend to that as soon as I possibly can.
What do you think are some of the most important aspects of storytelling?
I think self-reflection is important--it helps to know why a story is important to us, and why it might matter to someone else. We need to know how the story changed us or what it means to be able to tell it in a way that strikes a universal chord.
(Jen Lee, Grand Slam)
You go up on stage and tell stories. Wow!! That takes big huge courage! What is that experience like for you?
It's like coming home, every time. It might sound strange, but I don't know how else to say it. It feels like being made for a moment, having everything that's come before for me align in some momentary fit. It defies explanation.
You recently published Finding Your Voice. From what I understand, it’s a multimedia resource which replicates the whole workshop experience. Can you share a little about it? What inspired this work?
Well, I'm not sure it replicates the workshop experience, but it's as close as I can get, short of actually being together in person (which itself is huge). This is really a path that has emerged as I've been on a journey of recovering my own voice from many, many years of reluctant silence and dealing with so many of the dilemmas that come along with that kind of shift. It's about finding a third way that's not Reveal and Tell All Leaving Whatever Bodies in Your Wake, and it's not If You Don't Have Something Nice to Say, Don't Say Anything at All. I needed another way--to feel true to myself and honor my connections, to treat my dear ones with compassion. Finding Your Voice is for anyone who could use that kind of path, too.

Jen Lee is a Brooklyn-based writer, photographer and a regular performer in NYC's storytelling scene, including the Peabody Award-winning Moth Radio Hour and The Moth Mainstage. Jen is an instructor for Squam Art Workshops and the creator of Finding Your Voice. She invites you to follow her on Twitter, and to download The Story Catcher.

Sunday, April 24, 2011

a few simple pleasures...

We have been enjoying a few simple pleasures over here...
*my girl and I...Saturday evening

* Tara helping mommy make blueberry pancakes this morning..

* loving up her darling daddy-poo

* enjoying the amazing outdoors...hiking, wildflowers, ducks...

*sparkly Easter Eggs that Tara made in her art class this week!
Hope you all had a wonderful Easter weekend as well!

Friday, April 22, 2011

Giving in to our own rhythms


"What might my life be like were I to give in to the rhythms of my own ragged dance? Like this, I imagine, walking down the trail, past grapevines and winecups and huisache blooming in the sun. Just like this attentiveness, this pleasure, this being present to the world"
                                                                                                                   -Susan Hanson
I just came across this delicious poem in an old O mag (May 2009 issue) and I thought it perfect to start off the day. I hope you read it out loud, let it settle deep into your soul and work its magic all the way down to your toes! Here's to giving in to our own rhythms...our own dance! Happy day!

Thursday, April 21, 2011

"bird on your shoulder"

I just caught the last little bit of Tuesdays with Morrie. I read the book..quite a few years back and there are so many gems of truth that really speak to me. We live in culture that hides, denies, lies about death. We really do. We want to live forever but...we don't want to age! We either never really think we are going to die...or that it is so far away we don't pay much attention to it. But we never really know, do we?

(archival print availble here)
There is  a line in the movie where Morrie talks about "a bird on your shoulder". He explains that Buddhists imagine  there is a bird on their shoulder and every morning..they ask...is this my last day, am I ready for death? He says...we would live our lives very differently if we acknowledged that...life is finite. We would ask questions like "what does my heart really tell me", "what am I scared of and why?". We wouldn't save up our joy for special occasions like Xmas and birthdays...we would practice courageous living every day...every moment. That's what I want to do...I know (for me) it gets difficult when things are super hectic and I am stressed and Tara is right smack in the middle of  a tantrum...But with all my heart...I want to just be able to take a deep breath and realise what a gift life is...right in that very moment . I won't be here forever ...to calm her down, hold her, love her, kiss her. I really won't...and that makes all the difference...doesn't it? Just that perspective alone...changes me. I am going to practice...living with  a bird on my shoulder.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

b. inspired

(archival print available here!)
Like most of us...I am always on the lookout for inspiration but...you know how it goes! Days get filled up and I get so tired and before you know it...all those projects I wanted to do...just forgotten. Well, these past few days I decided to just...do it! I completed the painting above for my studio...to remind mySELF that being inspired is a conscious choice; one that I can nurture and make space for.

*I bought this little shelf for a steal at the junkie-junk store! It is a heavy piece of wood and I suspect it was handmade for a child. It is just perfect to store and display all my pretties (flowers, buttons, ribbons). It had been sitting in the garage forever and...this is what I did with it...

I removed the door...added a little bit of paint and...here it is...hanging in my studio!

*close-up

*Here's the door I removed ...some paint, pretty patterned paper and a clear doorknob from Home Depot transformed it completely. I had planned on putting it in my studio but Tara loved it so much...I added it to her play area!

*this is an idea that...I think I got from decor8...oh! months ago! I just tied some twine across an empty frame (that I distressed) and hung one of Tara's drawings. You can also use it for photos, biz. cards etc. Isn't it just so cute...and super easy to do!

* a few things that are inspiring me lately...
-this blog here has the most amazing ideas! If only I could sew this well!
- I just found out about this artist and...am going to order her book...right now!
-I have an interview with this amazing woman...posting it next week!
-I want to take this ecourse...when I get some time!
*And I also want to thank Rita Banerji for writing a post about me here!

Sunday, April 17, 2011

weekend getaway

(Coronado Bay Bridge)
There are so many amazing things to see and do over here. If you drive a few hours north, there are snow capped mountains! A few hours east...desert. And to the west, all the way down to Mexico and beyond...ocean. We had a delicious weekend getaway full of walks on the beach, delicious dinners (steak and seafood) and lots and lots of play time for Tara. It was soooo nice to just watch the sunset on the beach with Tim and Tara...read the new O magazine and just...do absolutely nothing! Not that it was all r&r, mind you. Keeping up with Tara is still pretty uh...challenging...but she travels pretty well for  a toddler. Glad to be back home though...I find that we all  respond really well to routine!
* hope you had a great weekend too:)

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Interview with Rita Banerji-Part 2

Here is the second part of my interview with Rita Banerji (author and  human rights activist). It is informative, powerful and thought provoking and I can't thank her enough for doing the work she does!!
                                                                (Rita Banerji)
Obviously the genocide against females in Indian culture is a systemic problem. It’s not just economics but something far more pervasive. In your opinion, why are women so devalued and dehumanised ?
As I argue and illustrate in my book, the female genocide in India is deeply rooted in the extremely misogynistic history, culture and religion (specifically Hinduism) of the country. All societies tend towards social hierarchies. And when a group (upper caste Hindu men for example) wants to establish dominance, and have the power over other groups (women and the lower caste) to exploit, to subjugate, and to annihilate at will – they establish a social logic, which even if inherently illogical, becomes the truth of the community’s existence. And the best way to reinforce this and make sure it isn’t challenged is to put it into religious law. Women and the lowest caste according to the Vedic texts are created from the dirtiest and lowliest part of the body – the feet. Hindu literature is littered with the most foul references to women – they are greedy, they have hearts of jackals, they are hideous wolves, deceptive, untrustworthy, evil sinners. There is also a very weird fear that the men had of female sexuality. They believed that menstrual blood for example could actually kill men. Furthermore, women along with slaves, deposits, houses, were officially recognized as “property” of men. It is the ultimate form of subjugation – commoditizing a human being. So like any other commodity – you can be bought, sold and disposed off at will! During a war a king could give his daughters to the invaders or attackers to ward them off. That’s why in the Mahabharata, Draupadi could be pawned off by her gambling husband, who had lost all his other property. There are hymns about female infanticide and sati in our religious books. Sita was found buried in a pot under the ground. That was not the earth giving birth – that is the earliest record of rescue of a girl who would have been a victim of female infanticide. It is how infant girls were killed in northern India.
(Music, mixed media on canvas, 16" x 20", SOLD)
Why is there such a disconnect between the reality of the way women are treated in society vs the Hindu custom of worshipping the Goddess? One of the misconceptions about Goddess-worship is that it is an indication of how much a society venerates women. Much of goddess worship, whether in India or elsewhere has to do more with fertility and reproduction as a male concern, than the status of women in society. Men have realized very early that women are their only means of self-propagation which is all through the Vedic literature an intense preoccupation with men. And specifically the production of sons. They believe that when women want to get nasty with them they produce daughters. So it is not women that they are worshipping, but their own desire for what the Hindu texts keep referring to as “immortality” (the son in the image of the man!) This is an extreme form of male narcissism. In fact most of the goddesses in the early Vedic literature – like Uma and Saraswati are passive and terribly bovine.
There is one period, the Shakta period, after 400 A.D., where goddesses like Kali and Durga emerge – and I do see and do a feminist interpretation of a lot of the literature from this cult and period, but what I also observe is that despite some of the underlying feminist philosophy of the religion, there is no apparent reflection of it in the social reality of the women of this period. The right of women as equal human beings in society is never addressed. In fact the legal rights of girls/women is never addressed in any matter. And the first time, this is ever addressed in India is under the British administration in the 1800s. It is one reason that even when I am approached by documentary film makers or journalists who want to do this “goddess angle” on the Indian female genocide – I refuse!
                                     (Meenakshi, mixed media on canvas, 20" x 20", SOLD)
Once one is aware of the genocide/gendercide in Indian culture…is there anything that can be done? What can the average person do to raise awareness of the situation?
There is only one way to stop any kind of genocide. A genocide, because of its scale, intensity and systemic nature – always needs a highly organized, tightly coordinated, across-the-board system response. That has been true for any genocide in human history. Like I always say, if instead of women, India was annihilating people of a specific race, religion or ethnicity on this mass and systematic scale, what would the global response be? Why should it be different if the targeted group is being annihilated because of gender? And we keep saying gender! But really it’s women! If a nation hated boys and men and systematically targeted and wiped them out in the millions, and you ended up with 50 million more women than men in that country, I can bet you the international media would have revived the Amazonian myths with vengeance. I think the global response to India’s female genocide is in itself misogynistic.
Individually we each need to take responsibility for choices we make in our own lives, and how we respond to what we witness around us in our families, and communities. Violence is a major issue. But I’ll give you a small example. A lady I know who was a professor at the IIM – India’s elite management institute, was invited to her student’s wedding reception, but not the actual wedding. The reason was that this lady is a widow, and therefore according to Hindu beliefs considered to be an ‘unlucky’ presence at weddings. She was very hurt, but she went to the reception. I told her that if the most highly educated Indians don’t take a stand, what hope is there for us? She should have either not attended the reception and made it abundantly clear to the groom what she thought of this. Or she needed to have gate-crashed his wedding – and let him know she’s not taking this! In following the custom silently, what this professor did was she helped in the perpetuation of another ugly, destructive Indian custom. So, I think it’s very important how each of us responds. If you stay silent and go with the flow you are a part of the problem! This is true even for those non-Indians who come in contact with the Indian community through travel or work or friendship, and remain mute or follow customs – so as to ‘keep the peace’ or not offend the Indians! Why? Don’t you have an independent conscience?
                      (Female Ganesha, watercolor and gouache on paper, 24" x 30", SOLD)
You worked with the Chipko women’s movement under Dr. Vandana Siva (another powerhouse of a woman!!). Did that experience shape you in any way? If so, how? Can you share with us why ecofeminsm works and how it empowers women? What was it like for you personally to work with Dr. Siva?
I was introduced to Dr. Shiva by Dr. Leslie Lovett-Doust, who is an ecologist and was also my freshman advisor. So that’s how I ended up in India as a Charles Dana fellow to do a project with her. I really liked working with her – because she gave me ample freedom and scope for individual judgment which I always need for any work I do. She gave me a couple of projects to choose from, and from there on I was on my own. I’d report to her once a week, and we’d discuss what I was doing and if there was any problem with anything.
I had to create a herbarium of the species of plants in a 1 km radius, to establish the biodiversity of the region, and do a general ecological survey of this subvalley called the Sisiyaru-khala valley (in the Doon Valley), where lime stone industrialists were strip mining the mountains. The locals helped me first classify the herbarium according to the folk system – which is entirely use based (like food, fuel, fodder, medicine etc.) And then I did a scientific (Linnaen) classification of it, and that herbarium was used as evidence in court. Two years later, I was in the U.S. when I got a letter from my friends in the village telling me that they had won the case against that particular quarry and it had been shut down! So that felt great.
Yes, it did have a big impact on me. I was veering towards genetics at that point in combination with ecology. But with the Chipco, the implication of eco-diversity in context of people, culture and lifestyles hit me in a big way. So when I eventually entered my Ph.D. program it was actually in conservation biology (more macro instead of micro – so I had evolution and ecology instead of genetics as tools of dealing with diversity and conservation).
The thing about Eco-feminism, as promoted by Dr. Shiva and many others is that it sees parallels between the productivity and the exploitation of women and natural resources by a virulently patriarchal society. And I think that as enthusiastic as I was about this at that time, as I grew older and got more into the field, my perspective on this has evolved. I think that communities like the one in Nahi-kala that are isolated, (they had no roads or running water), and are very dependent on their environment will naturally move to protect their environment because that’s survival for them. And yes, women do spend more time in the fields and forests, but in communities like this, and from my observation even in more urban, sophisticated settings there are men who are just as tuned in or connected to the ecological rhythms of nature. Conversely, there are just as many women in some rural and more so in urban settings who are not in tune with the ecological rhythms of nature. In the U.S., studying native American tribal philosophy on nature (the famous quote by Chief Seattle about teaching your children that we are connected to the web of life and what we do the earth we do to ourselves), I am convinced men can be just as connected. It is not a male/female thing.

(Music 2, mixed media on canvas, 30" x 40", SOLD)
Similarly on the issue of the plundering of nature. I remember sitting in a seminar class discussing the book “The Fate of The Forest” (about the Amazon), and there were 18 men, and 3 women (including me), and the professor was male too. And some of the male students went on and on about the “rape” of the “virgin” forest – discussing the forest like it’s female. And there was this terrible discomfort on the faces of the other 2 female students. So I pointed out the Amazon was second growth forest so not “virgin.” and I then asked whether the forest had to be female just because it was ‘virgin’ and ‘raped.’ “Aren’t there male virgins? And don’t men get raped?” I think that genderizing nature is not the way to go. Productivity, sensitivity, connectivity, are human things, not male/female things. When we genderize the world around us, we polarize our own experience of it through gendered glasses. So for eg. recently I was explaining to this group of men and women in India that with the gender gap increasing in India, rape has become the fastest increasing crime (it doesn’t automatically follow, but we have an inept system of law and order!). And the men looked at me and said – “that is a women’s thing.” So I asked them if I had said at any point that rape of women would increase. Did they know about the experiences of men in all-male prisons? When there are no women around, who do men rape? Each other!
                                     (Mother and Child, mixed media on canvas, 24" x 30", SOLD) 
Gender ratios in Indian populations worldwide are horribly skewed to favor males. Simply put…we are being killed in such great numbers that there are not enough females in Indian society. Entire matrilineal lines have been destroyed…vanished! How can this be reversed? What can be done to stop this?
The first thing to know here is that it cannot be reversed! The naturally occurring biological ratio of human societies is about 1:1 and is a bit more favorable towards women since they tend to live longer. Once you’ve screwed up the gender ratio, you’ve screwed it up for good! We have about 50 million more men than women in India. If we want to reverse this ratio and make it natural again – say 1:1 at least, then THE ONLY WAY TO DO THIS IS probably randomly select about 50 million families in India, and ask each of them to kill off a male of a specified age group in their respective families. You think India would be up for this project?
You started the 50 Million Missing Campaign. Can you tell us what inspired you to do this?
What inspired me? I’d say: anger and outrage. I’m an Indian woman, and my country looks me in the eye and says, “You are nothing! We’ve eliminated your kind by the millions, like flies!” Just like that – totally cavalier, smug, wearing that hallowed, saffron crown! And it’s time to say – “Enough! No more!”

(Rita's Book-I just started reading it!)
Your book Sex and Power brings to light gender based inequities in our culture. How has it been received in India? I have come up against a thick wall of denial whenever I have spoken up about gender based violence in Indian communities. Have you ever faced this reaction regarding the work you do?
The research and citations for the arguments I make in my book are in great details, and the reviews have been very good for the book. So far I’ve not got a single counter argument. The resistance that I think I face is more with regards to the campaign, and it’s not direct, but it’s mute and almost sullen I think. The odd thing is I don’t get verbal counter-arguments. The reaction I face is usually one of people looking uncomfortable or agitated, and getting quiet and sullen. The wall of resistance is non-verbal. Or else, people like to say “Oh it’s changing!” And you say – yeah but in which direction? Most of these people don’t like to engage in any kind of an extended discussion. You need to be armed with your facts, figures and arguments, and they retreat into a brooding corner very quickly. And that’s because they already know what you are saying, but they are hoping that no one will say it out loud! Oh it’s denial alright or defensiveness. And I think this kind of an agitated response on the part of the audience is fine. In fact I think it’s good. The tendency to deal with female genocide in India is like how families deal with incestuous rape. Everyone knows, and everyone looks the other way, and continues pretending all is normal. Whenever we want to keep something secret – it is an indication of three things: 1) We all know it is wrong 2) we all know it’s happening 3)And we are all in one way or another being complicit and are therefore guilty. The discomfort means that there’s no place to hide. The secret can’t stay a secret anymore. India needs to embrace the shame instead of getting defensive about it. That’s the only road to change.

(Parvati, mixed media on canvas, 24" x 24", SOLD)
 Is there any one person or experience that encouraged you to do the work you do today?
Oh goodness! This is something else. I know I keep seeing things about “positive role-models” particularly for girls. And it’s not an approach I support. Because I think in an inverted way it perpetuates the conventional method of providing prototypes for girls and women to model themselves on – “the good girl” “the ideal wife.” It tells you what to be and how to do it. And I think that ultimately whatever a girl or woman chooses to do or be has to be determined and visualized from within. If Mother Teresa did something, or Hilary Clinton, that is uniquely them. It is determined by their experiences, their vision, and their abilities and limitations. But no girl or woman should want to be like Mother Teresa or Hilary Clinton. They should want to be themselves in whatever way is uniquely suited to them and desired by them, which could very well be completely at odds with how Mother Teresa or Hilary Clinton would do it. If a woman wants to marry, grow a kitchen garden and raise a family – and find her real meaning of life and contentment in that, as her ultimate goal in life, I think that’s as important and fulfilling as what mother Teresa did or Hilary Clinton. As long as this woman chooses to do this as a deeply desired and seriously thought out choice and not because she was terrified of doing what she really wanted to do, and this seemed the simplest “formulae” lifestyle that society offered her.
(Music 1, mixed media on canvas, 16" x 20", NFS)
My work with the 50 Million Missing Campaign, stems from my own outrage and compulsion. I’m Indian, and I’m a woman, and my country looks me in the eye and says, “So what! We’ve swatted 50 million flies like you!” Even more so I’m amazed at the global response. When Jews were being annihilated in Europe, Jewish people all over the world were outraged, as were decent people. When the Tutsis in Rawanda were been slaughtered, black people all over the world, African or not were angry at the U.N. for not responding. And so I keep wondering, why does the systematic annihilation of women in India not outrage women around the world? The odd thing is – women’s groups get angry and agitate when minorities are targeted of a race or religion. But they don’t respond the same way when women are being exterminated. Instead they offer these weeded, Florence Nightingalian suggestions. Like “educate them,” “economically empower them.” Would they make these suggestions for religion and race based genocides? No they wouldn’t! Because these are never the reasons and these are not therefore the solutions of any genocide! It would be thoughtless, naive and obscene! So why do we have this weeded, yet fundamentally apathetic approach to female genocide? It’s questions like these that compel me.
Dear Rita-thank you so much for such an amazing interview!
*to read the first parts of her interview, go here and here
*to sign the petition against the genocide against India's girls go here
*to find out more about Rita go here and here
* to find out more about Rita's book, Sex and Power, go here
*******************************************************
my blog has been given an honourable mention here...thanks so much!

Monday, April 11, 2011

Mother India...why are you killing your daughters?

(Shakti, mixed media on canvas, 22' x 30")
Indian Woman: you carry India on your back. You are looked upon with contempt, indignation, misunderstanding. The Western World looks at you as a "third world" statistic-counting your daily caloric intake, your life span, your numbers.
Does anyone hear you, touch you, love you? Does anyone see you picking tea leaves ("For Export Only") under a scorching sun...back bent?
Are you only worth 5 cows, 2 gold bangles and silk sari? An exchange from father to husband?
Indian Woman; you are ripe and raw, you are old and gray. You are worshipped, eroticized, beaten, raped, killed. You are mother, daughter, wife, sister, friend, lover, enemy.
You are me. You bear witness to the violence committed against you. You are Mother language speaking the truth.
Indian Woman: true ancient feminist. Full blown Shakti: you carry the whole of India on your back and Her future in your hands. You will rise, like Kali in a rage-and shine like the sun...

I wrote this 4 years ago for my solo exhibition Shakti: Homage to the Indian Woman. Dear readers, there is a time for hope, a time for tears, a time for grace. And... there is a time for full on rage. That time is now!
(3 women, mixed media on canvas, 22 x 30", sold)
“We detest daughters! We hate them so much that we kill them before birth.  And we kill them after birth!  We kill them as they take their first breath.  We kill them while they are suckling infants.  We kill them as they learn to walk.  We kill them as they learn to talk and say ‘mama’ and ‘baba.’ We kill them as they learn to smile and trust, and love, and ask for their favorite foods – mangoes or sweets.  We kill them as they learn to play with their friends, and listen to stories about fairies, princesses, and far away dreams.  We kill them because we hate them.  We kill our daughters in the millions.”  -Rita Banerji from Gender Bytes
India just released the 2011 census and the gender ratio discrepancy is staggering. Girls are being murdered in such large numbers and...nothing is being done about it! Nothing! So you see my dilemma...as it has always been. I have Mother India running in my blood and I love HER with all my being... but I have to face the fact that I come from a society and culture that hates me, murders me, denies me my basic human rights and will do the exact same thing to  my Tara. The silence, denial and sheer ignorance that surrounds this genocide is nothing short of madness.
                                                            (my Tara...precious jewel)
Who will talk for these unborn babies? I will. Who will give voice to their unheard cries? I will. Who will stand up for these most defenceless victims? I will. And you can too. Rita Banerji, who started the 50 million missing campaign, has asked me to be a Voice of the Campaign and I will! If you are interested in the same, please find out how here...all it entails is about an hour or so of your time, speaking at a university or college about this atrocity of untold proportion.
*to sign the petition go here
* to find out more about this atrocity go here or here
*please stop by later on this week when I will be posting part 2 of my interview with Rita Banerji.

Sunday, April 10, 2011

today...

(difficult to get pics...ah! the terrible two's!!)

(building sandcastles...happy as a clam)

(precious time with daddy)

(aaaah! a bit of quiet time...)
* hope your was  a good one too:)

Friday, April 8, 2011

unless we see ourSELVES

(old cameras at an antique store)
"One of the most calming and powerful actions you can do to intervene in a stormy world is to stand up and show your soul. Soul on deck shines like gold in dark times. The light of the soul throws sparks, can send up flares, builds signal fires ...causes proper matters to catch fire...Struggling souls catch light from other souls who are fully lit and willing to show it. 
If you would help to calm the tumult, this is one of the strongest things you can do.
Do not lose heart. We were made for these times."      
                                                 -Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes
It has only been fairly recently that I really started seeing mySELF. I don't mean the labels that others slap on us...friends, lovers, family members, childhood events...but also the labels we put on ourSELVES. Sometimes without even realising it. It was only after I gave birth that I really understood the importance of seeing mySELF for who I really am. And it is  a process, let me tell you! But unless I see mySELF truly...how is Tara going to see herSELF for who she is?
                                       (me...a few minutes ago...after a long long day)
So often when we speak of acknowledging our real self, we tend to speak of the negative things. Oh!...I see the gray hair(lots!), the dark circles under my eyes, the fact that I am bad at math...those kinds of things. But I also see so much more. I see small hands cupping my face, I see tenderness in the eyes of my loved ones that has inspired me to be tender with mySELF. I see paint on paper and roses in full bloom. ...I see a soul stepping into elegance and grace. I see all those pains, betrayals, yuckies and "things didn't turn out the way I wanted" as doorways of opportunity...the fabric of life. Seeing ourSELVES for who we truly are also means seeing all of our gifts and talents and treasures. It means seeing the entirety of our person. It means choosing who we want to be...in every moment, in every action. It means showing up for our lives...through the ups and downs...the grief and joy. It means living in the moment and embracing our lives...as it is. It means allowing our light to shine, "our soul to show".

(Tara's handprint-a few days ago)
This is what I wish for mySELF, this is what I wish for my Tara...and this is what I wish for you.
***********************************************************************
* I had a day of semi-rest yesterday so I feel  a bit revived. Tara started a few classes (art + gymnastics) so we are pretty excited about that. Our morning walks have been fantastic...spring is in the air over here and everything is a lush, tropical paradise! Thank you so much, all of you, for  your loving kindness and concern.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

overwhelm!!


"Invent your world. Surround yourself with people, color, sounds, and work that nourish you."
                                                                                                                             -SARK
These past few weeks have been...intense and I am on the verge of burnout and overwhelm! Keeping up with Tara all day (morning walks + daily park visits + classes + all the shenanigans of the terrible twos...) and then putting my studio together, blogging, painting, dealing with personal struggles and loss...I am exhausted! I wish I could just lollygag all day, watch nothing but Oprah and eat bonbons:) But until then...I am just trying to take it easy over here...lots of self care (hot bubble baths, tea and writing in my journal). At least for a few days! I have emails to get to, blogs to visit...so many projects to do. I will get to it...I promise.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

archival prints available!


* My Etsy store is now open!! After a very emotionally difficult few days last week, I had planned on relaxing this weekend...but...instead, I worked on my shop (I'm kinda' kooky that way!) I am slowly filling it up so hopefully over the next few weeks...I will have lots of different prints available. Stop by and take a look and if you have any questions, comments or suggestions, please send me an email.

* Just because...looking at this pic makes me...happy happy!