living whole(hearted)ly

I started reading this book over a week ago and just couldn't put it down!!! It went with me to Canada and I read it on the plane/airport/car. I pasted stick-it notes all over the place, wrote in my journal every few pages and then...re-read through parts of it. It's that good, it's that true, it's that needed. Daring greatly (in a nutshell) is all about living wholeheartedly. Something i have not done for so much (okay...most) of my life. As a child, I was put in a box and every time I tried to venture out, I was stuck back in or worst. So...pretty soon i learned not to try, not to venture out and not to dream or dare or hope. Then I hit my teens and my real self went further into hiding and my false selves (there were many) became stronger and stronger. You know...this self with my boyfriend, this self with my teachers, this self with my friends  etc. I hated and feared being vulnerable; it took me back to a place where I was abused because of my very vulnerability.

Then, when I turned 30, I went to India for 4 months. Something happened there...that led me to my art, that led me to mySELF. But it wasn't this big huge change all at once...there were tiny step. Going to the art store and buying canvases and paints, learning about different materials and what they could do, signing up for classes and following through. Listening to my heart and not my head (you're going to do what??? You aren't an artist! who do you think you're fooling??) etc etc. Then when I became a mom...living wholeheartedly wasn't an option anymore...it was a necessity. Deep down...I knew this!!! I listened. i followed through. I cried. I shed the false layers...there was no room for that in my marriage and mothering and art and life and heart and soul. So...to read through this book was an affirmation that i am on the right path (for me).

Reading through the book...I realised that all the people I deeply deeply admire ...live wholeheartedly. No matter how different they are...they have that in common. Daring greatly is not about being perfect or spilling every private thought and action and dysfunction. It's not about winning or losing or getting everything we want. It's about showing up, being truly seen for who we are (warts and all). It's not paying attention to the critics and naysayers but using this one precious life that we have to be the full manifestation of who we are. It's about being scared and saying "I'm still going to try. my very best.".

It's about being vulnerable. Being true. Being real. It's about accepting and talking about our shame(s) and moving through it. It's about sharing all of our parts and pieces with trusted others. There are people in our lives who will hold our pain with us and not deny or negate it or use it against us. It's about being the adults we want our children to become. It's about living congruently. This book has inspired me to ...dare greatly. thank you Brene!!!!