My He(ART)-Full Life



Sunday, January 9, 2011

confessions...

"Every day is a journey and the journey itself is home." -Matsuo Basho
I would say that most of the time, I am a pretty optimistic person. I mean...I always try to look at the bright side of things and trust that there is a reason that things happen as they do...even if I have no idea why!! But I must confess that sometimes...it all gets very exhausting and...tiresome. Sometimes it's so much easier to indulge in a good dose of self-pity, "what was I thinking???" and a good old freaking out. There!!! I spilled the beans!! Sometimes I can be a total complainer!! This weekend was such blur of activity (again!!). Mundane things like standing in line at Walmart to return a few things (a nightmare on a Saturday!), finally getting a haircut that I am not completely happy with but am too exhausted to pay much attention to, a routine medical appointment. And planning Tara's birthday -which I would normally be over the moon about every little detail but -right now seems overwhelming...on and on. And I really started to feel like "what on earth was I thinking when I agreed to move out here from Va? " I mean...I did agree to move out here!!! So after indulging myself with tears, blame and lemon cake...I sat down with my journal, lit a candle and took a deep breath. There is some lesson to be learned here, some kernel of truth that I have missed...something!!
This is what I realised ...Sometimes.... things just are as they are!!
Okay...no brilliant epiphany...but true nonetheless! All steps on the journey...all...

7 comments:

Michele said...

I have been in your shoes my friend, little ones who need my attention, A husband with a demanding career (and who is in the process of recovering from surgery)- all of this taking place far from the place I called home. I completely lost myself in those circumstances...and truly
I hope you won't...

Just keep going, keep blogging- even if it's just to let us know that you're overwhelmed so we come give you great big cyber hugs!

GERI CENTONZE said...

Loved reading your heartfelt post. Sound like you used the frustration as an opportunity for reflection...good for you! Have a great week

SooZeQue said...

Ahh yes, the cycle of life! We all feel your pain. It always sneaks up on us like a beautiful blooming flower or a sharp blow to the head. Tomorrow's a new day, hopefully with flowers.

patty said...

Dear Soraya,
I know you know this already, but I'm going to remind you anyway.... you will look back at this difficult patch at some later point in your life and be grateful for the thoughts, insights, lessons and inspirations. I do believe this and writing it out helps to remind me as well! This is going to be a challenging week over here, but it will be over soon. Keep the faith, keep on writing and call me if you want to talk!!! Hugs to you and your sweet birthday girl too!!

Kelly said...

My favorite saying now..."It is what it is." Somehow that's all I need to know. :)

eva diva said...

Hey Soraya,

I was reading Clarissa estes's "Women who run with the wolves", talking abt the dualistic nature of woman, the one who is intuitive,all knowing, creative and the other one who is too human and pragmatic.

Sometimes I don't think I like my latter side very much, the one who has to deal with things like domestic chores. But I guess things must be balanced out to have the intuitive/sacred/creative part of us treasuring our creative moments.

But see how you still turn the most mundane events around with your great insights and optimism!It makes me smile!

ArtPropelled said...

Oh Soraya I wish things would settle down for you. As usual you are so philosophical and manage to move beyond these patches of overwhelment. Journaling, cleansing tears and cake certainly help to release the pressure. I should know ;-)
Big hug for little Tara on her birthday!