Heart + Fear = Wings

This class with Kelly Rae is a gift. Today I make a commitment in my heart to name and walk through my fears so that I can fly...I will make it a habit to "practice courage" by not demanding perfection of myself but by doing my very best in each moment.

Conflicts and other gremlins

I have been having a difficult time these past few days...there is  a lot of conflict within me that have been weighing on my heart in a heavy, heavy way... Tim is leaving for Ca on Wednesday and Tara and I are staying here (in Va) for a while...our house has not sold yet so it makes sense that we stay here. It breaks my heart that our little family will be separated (we are all we have) and ...even if it's for a short time...I absolutely hate it! So all the conflicts start entering my spirit...about whether it's fair that I should be pursuing my art at this time. Kelly Rae's class starts tomorrow and I am so excited...yet I think...can I "keep up" with all of this? Do the things around the house that Tim normally does, continue with my painting, take a class and, first and foremost,  take care of Tara with all the love and attention she needs and deserves and on and on... so the guilt and anxiety and fears start taking over. I know that so many of us feel this way-so much of conflict and being pulled in so many directions...I have looked deep in my heart and...I just have to trust in this journey...trust that I will find a way to make it all work  and trust that there is something to learn from every single doubt and fear and conflict and ...all of these gremlins have something valuable to teach. I have to believe that I am on the right path; the journey I am  meant to be on. I have to believe in mySELF, the process and the Universe even though I am full of fear and uncertainty and conflict. I have to believe that I am doing the best I can and that it's good enough. I have to believe that this journey can include heart and home and self in a way that is good and right and whole.

                                       

Magic...

Magic...just magic...

the Creative Woman-who is she anyway?

“ Creativity is a shapechanger. One moment it takes this form, the next that. It is like a dazzling spirit who appears to us all, yet is hard to describe for no one agrees to what they saw in that brilliant flash. Are the wielding of pigments and canvas, or paint chips and wallpaper, evidence of its existence? How about pen and paper, flower borders on the garden path , building a university? Yes, yes. Ironing a collar well, cooking up a revolution. Yes…tying off the loom..raising a child to adulthood…sewing a blue curtain? All are the creative life" -Clarissa Pinkola Estes (Women Who Run with the Wolves)
This post has been swirling around in my head for awhile and it was difficult to get it all out (the way I intend) but here goes...So, what exactly is creativity anyways? Who defines it? How can it even be defined? Where does it come from and how is it sustained? How can we teach (or inspire) others to be creative? What does creativity look like, feel like..And what about women and creativity? How do we fit into the picture? Why are all the famous painters (scientists, visionaries, chefs...) men? Is that a result of societal norms and circumstances or something more? Well-that's a whole lot of questions-but what are the answers (yikes! another question!) Of course this is a very complex issue and whole books have been written about this very subject. I don't profess to definitively know any of the answers but I have some ideas that can be used as a starting point.
The creative woman is...all of us! She is you, me...the woman down the street. There are different faces to creativity and sometimes we don't give our creative voices a chance to speak. Sometimes it has been silenced, ignored, diminished but…it is there, waiting to be unearthed. It's not that women are not creative/creators but that, historically, our creativity has not been seen, valued and appreciated.
Gail McMeekin, in her book the 12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women,  says " ...we women express our creative selves with every business idea brainstormed, every garden planted, every family member or friend comforted, every outspoken word voiced, and every feminine value expressed." Now ,thanks in large part to blogs and websites, we can have access to the infinite acts of creativity that are a part of the everyday woman's life. Baking a cake, capturing a stunning photo, sewing a pillowslip, writing, painting...these are all acts of creativity; an art form in and of itself. Here are some amazingly creative women, artists of various kinds, all on their own unique paths but all on the same journey to Creative SELF

                                                     (image courtesy of  Lis) 

                                                   (image courtesy of Cathy Nichols)

(image courtesy of  Hannah of Honey and Jam )

(image courtesy of  Lucy of  A Black Pepper )

(image courtesy of  Kim of Daisy Cottage  )

(image courtesy of  Kelly Rae Roberts  )

                                            

(image courtesy of   Meegan Zarboch )

(image courtesy of  Malka Dubrawsky of A Stitch in Dye)

(image courtesy of Tara Frey )

(image courtesy of Orly Avineri )

 When we dare to create, we are inspired and inspire alike. When we have the courage to give our creative voices the time and space to manifest, we become the CREATIVE process...The very lifeforce of the Universe. Now that's inspiring!  Please join in with comments and discussion; I would love to hear your thoughts.

* Thanks to all these wonderfully kind women who gave me special permission to use their images in this blog post.

If only we see...

There is such...

Delicious...

Startling...

Breathtaking...

beauty...everywhere. If only we see...

These are my BSM  (although the last one is my absolute best shot!)

                                              

Make your dreams real...

I just made this visual journal a few days ago in prepartion for Flying Lessons (super excited about this class!)
This is the front cover..."Make Your Dreams Real"

page 1...trying to define what "success" means to me.

...it's all about the journey

(P.S. I recently discovered these Portfolio Water Soluble Oil Pastels on Amazon. They are super rich and buttery. Amazing consistency and color and ...I think just $4 for a set of 12!!)

                                          

sunny day...

Today is  a sunny day after a week of rain and gloom. It's amazing how the whole world changes with the sun! Trees and flowers and bright skies just make...everything...right! We may go for a middle-of-the-week picnic. There is a beach just 10 mins. from our home. Well...not a real beach but it has sand and water (an inlet) and boats...That qualifies as a beach to me! It's the Yorktown Historic District with lots of charm... quaint shops and art galleries. Happy Thursday!
Later:  We had a super-sunny/lazy summer day...

James River (Yorktown)

Summer Day

...and I came across this wonderful art gallery called Nancy Thomas Gallery...just take a peek...

(aren't these birdhouses (actually bird-condos) super cute!!)

                                                     

"Where There Is A Woman..."

"Where there is a woman there is magic. If there is a moon falling from her mouth, she is a woman who knows her magic, who can share or not share her powers. A woman with a moon falling from her mouth, roses between her legs and tiaras of Spanish moss, this woman is a consort of the spirits."
         — Sassafrass, Cypress, and Indigo (by Ntozake Shange)

Today...I hope you all know your magic...Today and everyday...

                                

Coming Home...

This was supposed to be yesterday's post but my computer got all wonky and pretty much had a little meltdown:) We have just settled back in after our trip-laundry, groceries, completing a few last minute things after putting our house up for sale...and I realize that...I am so glad to be back home!...The comfort of my old mugs... books on the nightstand, snuggling with my hubby watching a movie, writing on my blog, painting...Tara's nursery. It's not just the physicality of home but the feelings of familiarity, routine and comfort. Of shared memories and ...heart. Maybe  it's also a metaphor for coming home to SELF-the act of feeling familiar in one's own skin and celebrating who we are...
                                       

                                                           

The Creative Journey...

Some of us have come later than we would like to the creative journey (myself included). Sometimes there is remorse, a feeling of all the time we have lost doing other things...travelling, raising children, building a career, finding ourselves...I used to paint and draw when I was a teenager but no-one ever encouraged me or supported me so I tucked it away in the back of my heart. I didn't start taking classes and committing to painting until I was 30 . Now-at 41-this is how I feel about the creative journey. Nothing is EVER lost on this path we are on; we bring all of who we are to this very moment. Everything that we go through in life has a meaning, a purpose that we may or may not understand. Yet if we trust in the process, trust in ourselves, the Universe and life...I feel that the creative journey begins in every moment. Sometimes...we are not destined to do our greatest work until we are 60 or 70 or beyond...and maybe our greatest work is raising a child or planting a garden or being kind...these are all acts of creativity...hubris...fertile soil for us all to bloom and grow and flourish. I once had a "friend" make fun of me being an artist...she started defining me, telling me what I was and was not, putting me in a box. In that moment I felt small, hurt, angry and it stuck with me for  a long time...I felt unsure of myself. Now I know that even that experience had a meaning and purpose in my creative life today. Every moment we can do something creative ...like choose to believe in ourselves or support someone else in their creativity. In every moment there is the potential to  begin the journey-anew...with fresh eyes...with a fresh heart. It is never too late for this journey that we are all on...Every moment...we have a new chance.

Magic Eye

My passion for photography has been reignited as of late. I think it's  a combination of having a baby (I want to capture all her moments), starting this blog (I want to share amazing, unique images) as well as being exposed to so many stunningly gorgeous pics in blogland...Can I convey the essence of a person? an object? Can I capture light, emotion? A sense of  time and...space?

What if  I could look into the magic eye of my lens...and see...my great-grandmother's life? What would I see ?...(she was married at age 12... her husband was 34... it was arranged)  Would I see...A little bit of prettiness captured in a stolen moment...away from cooking and cleaning and tending to children? Or...more?Are we that different-her and I (besides all the technology and stuff)...I will never know.
What if I could capture everyday moments and send them hurling through time and space to future generations-my great-grandchildren? I will never see them but...perhaps they could see me (and a little bit of themselves... in the process.)
What if I could peer through the magic eye and see pieces of mySELF that I never knew were there?

The camera is magic but we are the magicians. I am going to start this journey of photography and see where it leads...

rested, rejuvenated, relaxed...

We are back from our cruise...it was such an AMAZING time. I took a gazillion pics, rested up, had a few of my fave drinks (pina colada with lots of Jamaican rum!), read, spent time with my family, listened to reggae, calypso, salsa...Just posting a few of the pics that (I think) really captured the experience. Please... come along with me...

                    Lots of lazy mornings on the Lido deck...

early morning...wind in her hair...happy...

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me...morning coffee...relaxed...

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 lots of quiet time... reading, writing, dreaming...(with a cup of tea and pastry close by!)

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little toes...in sand...for the 1st time...MAGICAL!! (7 mile beach, Grand Cayman)

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taking a dip in Mahogany Bay (Honduras)...that's me pointing at our ship!

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drinking fresh coconut water...in Belize City, Belize

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This is the man I bought it from. My hubby refused to drink it (he thought the conditions were less than sanitary!) but I loved it! ...refreshing, cold, delicious!

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We bought 2 beautiful handcrafted wooden bowls from this man. We tried to support local people whenever possible.-Belize City.

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Me...content...Cozumel, Mexico...(love this lime green wall)

                                  Afternoons filled with ..

naps...

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playing in the pool ..

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snacks...

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laughs...fun...good times...

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                                       Lounging around
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                                  Lots of time with daddy...

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New friends...This is a kind and gentle spirit...Ansella. She is one of the childcare workers on the ship...we loved her! Hi Ansella:)

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I met an artist on the ship-Janette McKean who was on her way to retire in "the middle of nowhere" in Belize!! Janette-if you read this-I hope that your new life is everything you hoped for-and more! I also hope you start a blog so we can keep up with your adventures:)

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Lots of delicious gourmet food. Way too much food...with exotic ingredients ...jicama root, saffron, coucous... This is wild Atlantic salmon with garlic potatoes, fat chunks of buffalo mozarella cheese and tomatoes... roasted artichoke hearts and brocolli...

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Lazy evenings on the deck, listening to Bob Marley in the mild breeze...

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Mothers Day...My heart is full...

Thanks for looking...We had an AMAZING time but we are all cruised out!! Glad to be back home and getting back into our routine. Okay, I miss the good life a little bit...still...glad to be back home!