my blog challenge so far: day #10

It's day 10 of my blog challenge and here are a few things I've discovered so far:

*since the challenge, I have been carrying my camera with me everywhere! Not only that...but I am constantly looking at things with  a fresh eye..."can this be a great pic?", "can this image encapsulate my story?", "how can I capture this light?" ...

 * some days I sit down to write my post and I go..."what was I thinking...signing up for this blog challenge????" but the truth is...most days, I am completely up for the challenge + look forward to it! Even if I blank out for 5 mins. sitting here going..."what should I write about??"...it falls into place if I give it a chance. 

* I carry a little notebook with me wherever I go...and scribble down blog post ideas. Sometimes I fall back on them and sometimes I write about what's in my heart as I sit down in front of the computer. But it's nice to have them written down so I don't forget. 

* I am establishing a habit. I wake up and work out...grab my morning coffee and sit down to write.

 * the community has been an amazing support! Words of encouragement and inspiration are everywhere and I am "meeting" the warmest, most amazing peeps. Folks who are creative + funny, who are going through difficult times but still showing up...who are so giving with their time + advice. Plus...I'm discovering blogs I never would have otherwise!!

*I am consciously seeking new ways to share my stories, to share what's in my heart. Not all of my posts are going to be great...but they don't have to be! It's about showing up, being seen + doing my best.

"do 3 things you love today": day #9

 I've been reading this book right here (Beautiful You: A Daily Guide To Radical Self Acceptance) for the past month or so. It's a book of daily affirmations that has been oh! so good for me! While I don't read an affirmation every single day...if I find one that really speaks to me...I try to use it every single day (hope that makes sense!). So...when I came across this one right here "do 3 things you love today"...I loved the simplicity and wisdom of it!!! Imagine if...every single day...we could do just 3 things for ourSELVES that we completely loved!!! They don't have to be expensive, complicated or time consuming...they just have to be things that make your heart sing.

 I'm finding that the key lies in really savoring the moment...opening my heart to gratitude and love. In knowing that I'm worthy of asking for what I need and then...kicking guilt to the curb and claiming the time to do things I love. My days were usually so filled with mommy duties that I often neglected myself. So this practice has really (radically, friends...radically!) changed my life.

And now...because I take the time to fill mySELF up...I can show up wholehearted in my life.
And that, my friends...is pretty  fabulous!

painting our journeys: day #8

Friends...I am extraordinarily excited to share with you that I have an article published in the current Cloth.Paper Scissors July/Aug 2013 issue (p. 62-66)!! I share how I create my multi layered backgrounds, the stories they hold and the symbolism behind them. I go into detail about how I create my backgrounds with the focus on having fun + experimenting (ie. letting go!!)rather than creating a finished piece or having things turn out a specific way. I share how each of my paintings are soul biographies...layers upon layers of stories that reveal (and hide) parts and pieces of ourSELVES. Because that's how we are, right? Complex and multi layered...stories within stories. It's a step by step article that focuses on technique with pics of my nearly bare canvas (gesso and collage) to finished pieces. I share how I use all sorts of things in my backgrounds...pieces of used mail, pages from my journal, found papers, ticket stubs, gift wrap, pages from an old dictionary...splatters and drips of ink. It's all about creating layers of history and painting our journey. 
 P.S. Also...I never drink my coffee black (I use half and half) but I received some Cambodian coffee as a gift and I have never tasted anything like it!!! So...sweet and earthy; I just couldn't add any cream!

I would like to thank Barbara Delaney, Jenn Mason and everyone else who helped make this possible. I am incredibly grateful and excited for this opportunity. Dancing on clouds over here:)
*Also available in Canada, friends!!! I hope you get  a chance to check it out:)

surrendering to the journey: day #7

"How can you follow the course of your life
if you do not let it flow?" -Lao Tzu
 Lately...I've been reflecting on my journey; how far I have come, how much I've changed and how each tiny step leads to the next one. Sometimes, when i get overwhelmed, stressed or depressed...I tend to focus on how much more I have to do. How much more I have to grow. And that tends to stress me out even more!! But lately...since I have made self care such an intentional practice...I am being kinder to mySELF. I am celebrating the small changes and cheering mySELF on. I am leaning deeper and deeper into listening to what I really need. I am learning to let those old tired ways go and am welcoming in new + fresh perspectives. I am planting tiny seeds of hope and change with the knowing that they will bloom in their own time. I am reaching into the ether of hopes + dreams for being the person I am meant to be. I am surrendering to the journey, friends...

 

and it's my wish for you too. Happy Sunday!

making time for happy: day #6

 Our summer days here have been full and hectic as I'm sure so many of you can relate to. In between so many scheduled activities (classes, playdates, trips to the zoo/museum etc)...I have been scheduling down time. It may sound strange...scheduling relaxation...but I find that it doesn't always just happen and I have to create the space for it! So...I have been making lots of time for...

happy!!! Hope you all are having a wonderful summer so far as well:)

chase the light + it will find you! Day #5

 More and more..I am seeing (really seeing...which means putting into practice) how truly essential self care is! To me, my marriage, mothering, creativity, health...everything!!! I am seeing how my needs change from day to day (hour to hour sometimes!) and how I have to listen deeply to the whispers. I am seeing (in retrospect) how many long years of neglecting my needs, of not feeling worthy of asking for what I need and of assuming I don't need self care had left me feeling dried up and spent. I have no idea how I even made it through my teen years without any self care at all...save for my journal/sketchbook. But those very years prepared me for this path I am on right now. Those very years of neglectful apathy planted the seeds of who I am today. Those experiences carved my path. They led me to live in an ashram in my mid twenties...where I could mend my broken spirit, immerse myself in solitude and rest my very weary self. They led me on a  4 month pilgrimage to India where I could find my way back to self. They led me to art, photography, books, writing, seeking the true, committed to lifelong learning and healing. those very experiences of hardship led me to ...chasing light.

Now I am all about discovering the light within and beyond. It's fun! And fills me up to overflowing. Really, friends...it's all about self care as a daily practice and necessity! It doesn't have to be complicated either; actually I find that simplicity is key. It's all about the listening to what we need and then...leaning into those whispers. My top 10 simple acts of self care:
1. writing in my journal
2. going for a walk (now I also incorporate photo walks)
3. exercise!!! most days I need to work out and then...I need to listen to my body when it needs  a rest as well
4. setting boundaries!! So so so important friends!! Can't stress this one enough in terms of what it's done for my peace of heart and mind. No more being overrun by guilt and poor choices feels like a huge deep breath of freedom!
5. reading

6. appreciating simplicity; gratitude as a practice
7. community, tribe, friends, love
8. laughter...and holding hands
9. a cup of tea
10. listening to ourSELVES = honoring ourSELVES. Our intuitive self knows what we need, what we seek, what to leave alone.
 chase the light and it will find you!

the spirit of things: day # 4

 "Being true to who we are
means carrying our spirit like a candle
in the center of our darkness"     -Mark Nepo (The Book Of Awakening)

This is the altar in my studio. It's a makeshift one of many that are all over our home. They just tend to spring up wherever they are most comfortable and needed. Things that have deep meaning and truth for me, for our family...that hold in their depth...a great and wondrous spirit. Usually there will be a few candles, a fresh flower...perhaps  a book I'm reading that sings with life and truth. A photo. A piece of art, my sketchbook/journal...mandala beads, a twig or stone. Things that hold true stories for me...things that resonate with my being. These altars (to me) are not about religion or praying or dogma...but about pausing in heartfelt gratitude for... the spirit of things. It's about taking a few minutes to be truly present...to acknowledge the deep and abiding beauty everywhere. It's about knowing in my heart of hearts that I am a part of the whole. It's about reminding me to open to joy, to love...to sorrow, even. It's about reminding me to be true to mySELF just as a tree is true to itself. It's a call for me to walk into my whole life with whole heart.

on the edge of wonder: life around here: day 3

 “The doors to the world of the wild Self are few but precious. If you have a deep scar, that is a door, if you have an old, old story, that is a door. If you love the sky and the water so much you almost cannot bear it, that is a door. If you yearn for a deeper life, a full life, a sane life, that is a door.”-Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes (WWRWW)

Motherhood has been a door for me.  I learn so much from Tara...how she fully embraces each moment, delves right into whatever activity she's doing...and is full of fun and playfullness. How she surrenders to joy and expresses all of her emotions; without holding anything back. How she's always standing at the edge of wonder...unleashing magic every chance she gets. How she can grow wings out of laughter and thin air. Sounds so simple...but I have to intentionally practice that.She is my teacher and ...I am filled with deep love, humility and grace for the experience + opportunity. Motherhood has opened the door to my deeper, most authentic bare self. 

 

Here I am a few days ago at the Funky Caravan dropping off a batch of new prints. So very happy that I have this opportunity ...if you happen to be in the area...please stop by!!!

Funky Caravan, 2606 West Colorado Ave. , Colorado Springs

Here is a display of my recent prints...I decided to make them in a few different sizes (matted and unmatted) ...loving the whole vibe!

Am going on photo walks every single day (sometimes more than once!!). Am so loving this practice (thanks to Vivienne McMaster via Be your Own Beloved). I find that it fuels me, keeps me grounded + in the moment plus...it's great combining creativity and self care! Loving how I'm practicing self care more + more (I feel a whole other blog post coming!!!) and ...love how I'm listening to what I really need.

This is Tara today in full princess/ballerina mode. She simply bursts my heart wide open...full of energy, sass and pizazz. She's starting ballet classes and oh my!!! She just can't get enough of all the twirling and swirling:) She's an absolute girly girl...through + through. If it's pink and sparkly...if there are roses + butterflies and ribbons...all the better. I'm sure you can tell!

Loving the gorgeous summer skies over here...this was taken on our evening walks one day last week. Tim and I hold hands and chat while Tara skips on ahead. So very grateful ...for so much.

new rules: Day #2

When I was (much, much) younger, I used to write out these "rules" and revise them every so often. It all went into my diary/journal/sketchbook and usually these "rules" were a reflection of whatever was going on in my life at the time. So...for instance...when I was vegan for a year some of my rules were "no eating dairy...ever!!"...um...I was, like...22!!!. Or...if I just got out of a particularly not so good relationship...one of my rules may have been "no dating for the next x# of months". It seems a little silly now as I read through those long ago pages but the truth is, that having those rules written down.. kept me on track! Kind of like a secret cheering squad that kept me accountable in some way because if I broke one of those rules I had written down...it really gave me pause. But as I became older, I did away with those types of rules; I threw away absolutes. Nowadays my "rules" are pretty simple. They still reflect my life yet are not very situation special but rather very broad foundational type ones that can apply to just about any situation. Okay...here goes!

 

Rule #1: There are no rules!!!! In life and art and parenting and relationships and every situation in between...there simply are no rules! It's all very relative and specific to the situation, I think. I may say...well...always be kind. But I feel that I can't always live up to that and maybe I'm exhausted or hormonal or...perhaps the situation doesn't require kindness.  So...I feel that I may try to be kind most of the time...but sometimes I will fail. Terribly so. And that's okay...I just get up the next day and try again. 

Rule #2: Keep it simple. I find that in just about every situation...I want to keep things simple. I don't want to stress out over the small things...I want to be present and sink into the moment. So...if we are having company over...I prefer ordering pizza and having more time to talk + laugh and such rather than stressing out about "did the dinner turn out okay?" or so exhausted from cooking all day  etc. Simple is good! Candles, bare feet, pizza + good company = win/win!

Rule #3: Keep it healthy!Whatever the situation, I really try to ask myself this question...is it healthy (emotionally, mentally, spiritually, physically). I find this to be a fool proof way to bring me back to center and point the way for me to make decisions. How do I want to parent? what kind of partner do I want to be? whom do I allow into my life, how can I make time for self care, what does self care even look like for me because that changes all the time! ...all of these large questions can be answered when I use health as my guide. Because truly...when I am not healthy (burned out, stressed, exhaustion as a way of life, unhealthy boundaries, toxic relationships etc)...I am not living my fullest potential, I'm a real pain to be around and am no good to anyone.Period.

 I try to carry these rules into all aspects of my life (creative as well)...and change as necessary:)
**Okay! This is day 2 of my blog challenge and I'm finding out that it's not as daunting when I just try to take it day by day. At least...that's how I feel right now:)

July blogging challenge/love affair/"can I even do this??"!!!! Yikes! Day #1

 I signed up for this blog challenge right here ...it's where I blog every single day for the next month!! The truth is...I'm not sure if I'm up for the challenge at all and am in half a mind to duck out! It's not that I don't have tons of things to write about but...it is  a little daunting. For the last few months...I've really been neglecting my blog. I used to have a schedule where I'd post 3 -4 times a week and then...my time and energy simply didn't allow for it anymore. So...I just let it slip away. I read Flora Bowley's 30 day love affair  where she turned her "challenge" into something fun + playful!! I so loved this idea (she made it look so easy!!) that I figured I would try to incorporate some of that into my challenge as well.

The truth is...I love playful/fun/love affair mode...but...I also love a challenge! I love raw and real and "let things fall where they may" /"leave it up to the Universe", "when the stars align" etc etc. . And equally so..I love discipline and schedules and time management and anal "I have to get this done!" mode. It's what gets me going!! It's the ying and yang of it, you know?? Seriously...I'm sure there's some therapy out there for this kinda' thing:) Anyhoo...this is day one and I have no idea how it's going to pan out (part of the thrill, no??) but I am here...I am showing up and doing my best to share, document, dream. It could just be a few pics, a poem or  a quote...or ...and that's the magic and the beauty of it!!! I have absolutely no idea which direction this will go!!! But here I am...feet firmly planted on the ground...head up in the stars...GO!!!!