life around here: day #21

 The weather around here has been really strange this summer...very volatile (it hailed last night!!) ...so I have been taking advantage of the sunny days. Every opportunity finds us outside...Tara with her magnifying glass, looking at all sorts of things and me...feeling the grass on my bare feet...listening to Bob Marley, reading a book or cloud watching. Sometimes we go to our backyard or...pack up a picnic lunch and head out the door.

 This is my gorgeous sweet girl...growing up in leaps and bounds. She has a confidence and air about her that I still don't possess. Love!!!

 There's a tea festival coming here friends!!!! A tea festival!!!!

 This about tells the story of Tim and Tara's relationship right here...

  Photowalks have become  a daily practice for me...just grab my camera, be present and mindful...and go! It really allows me to focus on this moment...and all the beauty and joy around me.

Been getting healthy over here, friends! My new schedule-wake up at 5 a.m. Mon-Fri to work out (cardio, core exercises on the ball, knee strengthening and yoga), then coffee and blog/computer stuff. Having super healthy/delish smoothies for breakfast (almond milk, tons of spinach, protein powder, frozen fruit, flax seed, and just discovered this right here) ... then... my day with Tara begins!

 Been doing a lot of writing in my journal. I want to find me way back to morning pages...but just can't fit it into my schedule these days...I mean...I don't want to wake up at 4!!! But still...finding lots of time to write throughout the day. Just focusing on joy, opening my heart + mind, being present...and growth!!! That's my life around here.
*update on my blog challenge: Okay! Some days I really wonder...whatintheblazeswasithinking???? but...most days I actually look forward to writing a post. Even those days (and there are many!!) where I wonder what on earth am I going to write about...if I give myself a chance...it manages to flow.

you do what???? (or...some thoughts on blogging)

One day last week I was chatting with another mom at the bookstore while the girls were playing...and I happened to mention that I have a blog. Well...this lady just about fell off her chair!!! She said "you do what???". She was incredulous...let me just tell you. I tried explaining it to her few times and then just gave up. Some of what she asked /said were..."what a waste of time", "who reads those things anyways" + "why would anyone do that???". But it was all those unsaid words + emotions hanging out in her eyes and posture that spoke volumes. She almost became angry, judgemental and...just a little bit afraid, I think. And I totally understand. I get it. I really really do. A few years ago if someone had told me that I was going to write a blog and send my thoughts, emotions, heart + soul out into the world...I would have probably thrown up from fear. no kidding either.  I would probably have felt more comfortable running around naked in Times Square than exposing my whole entire self this way. But now...just 2+ years after...it feels as easy + natural to me as breathing.

When I first started my blog I had no real plan...I had some vague idea that I wanted to get my art out there, be creatively and intellectually challenged. Plus I had picked up a copy of Artful Blogging a few months back + was totally inspired. But...actually, I had no idea what the hell I was doing!!! All I know is that I was very lonely + isolated. A new mom (Tara was just about to turn 1) trying to cope with a million things at once. Tim was away a lot for work and something in my heart + soul told me to do it. I listened!!! 

Now...here's the thing about blogging (and this is difficult, if not impossible to explain to someone unless they have experienced it for themselves)...but it changed my life!!! And I am not being melodramatic, I swear (although I do have a tendency to be sometimes). But it absolutely changed ...me!!! Now when I look back and read through some of my earlier posts...I see someone in search of her voice. A little unsure, a little desolate + lost...but still...showing up. I see someone who has a sense of humor...and who tries.

Right when I started my blog, I made the decision that I was going to be real. I mean...I wasn't going to put all of this time + energy into something and not be mySELF. It was difficult, don't get me wrong. I mean...who wants to spill out their guts when things aren't quite going right and you feel overwhelmed, depressed, hurting, insecure??? So much easier to hide + pretend. But...how else are you going to seen? I had no interest in portraying my life as perfect or incredibly interesting or or or. And life experiences have taught me that when I am not honest with my feelings...I walk away from mySELF and just increase the pain + isolation of whatever I am feeling. So...blogging became my connection to others but also to mySELF...who I am + who I am becoming.

And so...yes...I did get my art out there but blogging has led me to so much much more. Each and every day I get more brave. I am inspired by so many other incredible souls who are being true to themselves and creating + writing + blogging and ...being real. Each day...I get less judgmental toward myself...kinder and more accepting. I dig deeper into myself to speak my truths no matter how uncomfortable or painful. And even if my words are clumsy...or inadequate...still I try. And the connections that I have made through my little blog have been incredibly rich and real. All the way across oceans and seas...hearts + minds + spirits connect me to soul sisters everywhere.

And this degree of authenticity informs my life in everything I do now. In my art, writing, relationships, marriage, mothering. Everything. And it has made me a far richer person and... stronger.

So...you see...it's pretty difficult to explain to someone who hasn't experienced it what blogging really means to me. The alchemical combination of heart + soul + art + words + connections + authenticity + photography + life + passion + love = magic. So there you go. Just a few of my thoughts on blogging. Now when someone asks me..."you do what????" ...I am going to look them square in the eye and say..."why yes. Yes...I am a blogger". chuckle chuckle.

Blogger's Block!

I woke up this morning, made a cup of tea, sat down at my computer screen and hit into one of my most dreaded gremlins...blogger's block! I started to panic and then ...my mind just went blank! I decided that I had a few options...
1. skip my post altogether this morning
2. post a picture and a quote/poem
3. write a list
4. write my post about it!
As you can see, I chose option #4!  I realize that writer's (or blogger's block , in this case!) is something  we all face at one time or another. We can't be brilliant, insightful, funny, amazing all of the time:)  If we are lucky , it happens some of the time...So what do we do? How do we work through it while still being authentic and relevant. Here are some things I have found to be helpful...okay, here goes #3-the list!
1. I write my post anyway without having all these expectations of it being a great post.
2. I did deep within mySELF and find pieces of vulnerability, insecurity, goofiness and embrace them. I include them in my writing because these are pieces that we all have, that we can all relate to
3. I pick a topic that I am passionate about (the environment, art, reading, human rights, food...) and once I start writing, things flow
4. I have skipped a few days because I hit the wall but I find that, for me, this often prolongs my "block". It's about finding that balance between "recharging" and "working through"
5. I pick pieces of my personal life (starting my art business, motherhood, marriage, a great book I am reading) and write about that. I find that there is so much we all have in common...that we can share and learn from
6. I post a quote
7. I write a poem
8. I write a list (you can make up a list of just about anything!)
9. I look through my pics and let them inspire my post. For example...a pic of a loaf of bread can inspire me to write about simplicity or a trip to the Farmer's Market.  A picture of Tara in a summer dress can inspire me to write about the joy of motherhood or the top 10 things I love about summer or...
10. I keep in mind that blogging (like everything else in life) is a process. If we are too hard on ourSELVES, set unrealistic expectations or quit because it's difficult...we won't grow, learn, evolve. And it's the journey after all...
The most important thing, though, is that I strive to be authentic and to keep in mind that all of you reading this are dear kindred spirits; friends of my heart. This, above all else, sends the gremlins packing!  What are some things you do to work through your bloggers' block?

                                                        (She has faith in her path...)