My He(ART)-Full Life

Monday, May 20, 2013

unearthing oldness and bringing in newness

 "To be ourselves causes us to be exiled by many others, and yet to comply with what others want causes us to be exiled from ourselves"
                                               -Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes
This past little while has been a huge period of growth for me. It's involved unearthing so many old stories, rewriting new ones and bringing me to a place of right here, right now. I'm giving up (slowly...little by little...bit by bit) all these pieces of who I used to be, who I thought I was, who I wanted to be...and making room for who I really truly am. It's  a process, friends. It really is. But it feels so good to simply!!! Some of the things that are facilitating this (somewhat daunting ) process...
*reading. I am a voracious reader and I find, that...for me, books really give me insight, tools, courage, direction. I could go on and on.
* journaling!!!! I write and write + write some more. It's cathartic. I used to diligently do my morning pages for the longest time...then I fell off the wagon + I seriously miss it!!! Gotta get back to doing them but until then...there's nothing I love more than having a cup of tea and writing in my journal. Good stuff!
* photography!!!! Vivienne McMaster's Be Your Own Beloved class. Seriously, folks...this class is opening up my heart + eyes and making space for me to accept who I am right now. Most of the pics in this post are from the class and I am seeing in a new way. Absolutely + totally recommend it!
Getting back in my studio and painting...and just really letting go and enjoying the process. Not really wanting to create a  finished painting...just putting paint on canvas and pulling and pushing...stepping back. Allowing. Seeing what wants to happen.  also...I totally rearranged my studio and I am completely in love with the way things are I want to repaint my walls. Eeeek! All the work??? Taking everything out of the room, all the stuff I have up on my walls. Not sure if I'm going to go that route right now...the walls are a sunshiney, buttery yellow (which I love) but I was thinking I want more of  a neutral in there like a warm and moody gray.

OMG!!!! I can't believe I'm actually posting this on my blog...but it was a seriously fun prompt  from BYOB last week. All my life, I have been  a super girlie girl...and I loved dressing up and taking care of myself. But after I became  a mom...I totally let so much of that go. I became other focused (necessarily so) and with Tim away at work so much, my art, blogging, moving etc...I fell into exhaustion and ...sometimes, laziness. Not to mention the changes in my body post pregnancy...and ageing. It's only been in the last year or so that I very slowly started working my way toward self care. This photo shoot was pure magic for me...I put on some music, had the self timer going...and began playing around. It was so fun!!!

The weather around here has been mirroring my renewal...lots of sunshine, wetness + green = perfect conditions for growth:)
This book has my heart opening like a flower...petal by petal.  It's amazing how a great book can open worlds upon worlds...and bring characters so real into our hearts + lives.How it can slough off old-ness and plant seeds of change that will take root. How I adore books!!!

When we accept our own wild beauty, it is put into perspective, and we are no longer poignantly aware of it anymore, but neither would we forsake it or disclaim it either. ... 
                                                                                                 - Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes

1 comment:

patty said...

Soraya, your last couple of posts have been super joyful! So happy for you!