ordinary magic

"If not now...when?"

                               -Instructions for the Tenzo

More and more...every single day...life teaches me to be here in the now. It's simple and humble age old wisdom that resonates with me more and more. It's the foundation of all meditation practices...bring my breath and attention to this moment...create space in my heart and mind for life as it is. In my much younger years I suffered from anxiety about all sorts of things. Such silly things when I think back on it now:) Things that didn't matter, that I had absolutely no control over, broken ideas and dreams that were not even mine to begin with!!! Silly...but all lessons on this journey.

And Tara (family, marriage and mothering) have been powerful teachers to me. Because when I became a mother...I also became a child. The scared the crap out of me vulnerability, the magic of seeing with brand new eyes, the opening of my heart have all been such magical gifts. When I was in my twenties, I lived in an ashram for quite some months ...4-6...I don't remember, really. I mean...the whole point was to step outside of time!!. And while I thought that was difficult at the time...looking back it was easy paesy compared to walking the path of Zen in the messiness of motherhood, marriage, relationships, failed dreams, forgiveness...life!!! But that's where it's needed most!! Right???

So now I am learning simple wisdom...BE HERE NOW and I am trying to slow down and savor the moment of struggling through my paintings, stepping into my fears, looking my inadequacies in the eye, accepting my ugliness, letting go of "perfect", embracing differences and on and on. It's difficult!!! But it's  a practice...something that has to be worked at. All the time.

It's seeing the sacred in the ordinary. There is magic and wonder in this moment right here...me sitting at my desk typing on my computer, drinking my morning coffee...reaching out all the way across time and space to connect with other hearts and souls. There is a mystery to life that will never reveal itself to us...but...if we simply step into the moment...will share it's beauty. And that, my dear friends, is a gift.