My He(ART)-Full Life

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

the raw + the real

Some days (okay...every day!) it's difficult or impossible to find balance. Some's difficult to just show up...with our best selves + our worst. There is no perfect pie in the sky, her life is better than mine, Utopian lala land out there. So why do we compare, strive for and expect anything other than what is??? Why does that little seed of discontent sometimes grow into a tree of despair??

I am having a difficult time these days balancing everything.  With Tara growing up so fast...I am experiencing how time is just slipping away at lightning speed. Right now..I would much rather spend time with her...eating breakfast in the sun...watching the birds...than be in my studio. I would much rather work in the garden, read a book, go for  a walk with T&T (Tim and Tara!!) than paint.'s okay. There are cycles to creativity...and every part is equally important. I also realise (more than ever) that I am never going to get these years with Tara back...these years of having her all to myself before she goes off into the world. It makes me incredibly sad...but also grateful that I realise the opportunities right here, right now.

Of course...I will never give up my art + painting. Because that is an intrinsic part of me too. Part of my heart + makes my spirit leap and fly and  soar.'s all about honoring my life, my process and accepting where I am. This is the raw + the real of my life right now. Just showing up (even when it's a struggle) with all of me (doubts, fears and hopes)...knowing + trusting that I will be heard.
and accepted.
and loved.
Thank you. xxx


jane said...

Soraya , I think we all feel "off balance" and "life flying by" moments, and it's a constant struggle to stay centered...perhaps that is a sign that we have rich lives full of loveliness...if we can just figure out how to balance it all! xo

laurie said...

i appreciate your posts about the "struggle". even when life is great, there are moments when we feel less than so. my nephews are here visiting so, instead of getting much accomplished, i am spending the days hanging out with them (watching movies, going places, doing crafts with them,etc.) i am having a wonderful time but feel bad about not posting on my blog, not cleaning out my fridge, and all the other things on my to-do list!

patty said...

Soraya, interesting that I am just finishing a post about the "comparison demons". It's always so validating to know that we are not alone on our journeys and that we are not the only ones that feel some of these things! Whatever did artists do before there were blogs???

Anyway, I think that when you take the time to be more involved in the details of your family and daily life, it will only enhance your art when you get back to it. It has taken me a while to see this, but I do believe it's true! So just go with it - you are on the right track!!

I will email you soon... and, yes, maybe a phone call!!