My He(ART)-Full Life



Sunday, October 23, 2011

learning new ways

I was feeling very vulnerable writing this post last week; I had been meaning to for  a while but kept on putting it off. For most of my life, I had so many walls around me. Walls around my heart and spirit...sometimes even around my mind. It was a protective measure, a survival skill that no longer was needed but one that I held on to for dear life. All of that changed after Tara was born. As soon as I laid eyes on her...something deep inside me was born; the person I was meant to be all along. She birthed me as much as I birthed her. Maybe even more. All of my walls slowly came crumbling down. Just like that...a lifetime of defenses crumbled to dust. Here I stood, very naked and vulnerable and half scared to death. But...let me tell you a secret. I am learning new ways and it feels so damn good!! It feels holy and true and right and pure to be wide open like the sky. As generous as a tree...as naked and vulnerable as a newborn baby. I am learning new ways...and things are exactly as it is meant to be.

4 comments:

laurie said...

learning both exposes and strengthens a person at the same time. it is a vital part of life, like breathing. and it requires some level of vulnerability - knowing that we don't know. may we all continue to learn and grow each and every day.

jane said...

I see the "new" you, and she is beautiful! xo

Kelly said...

I took me getting knocked to the ground to start this process. I'm very stubborn. I like your way better. :)

Janet said...

Your words come out so beautifully. We all go through a process of learning who we are and sometimes it's very painful. You seem to be on the other side of all the pain....you made it through and now you can just enjoy your life knowing who you are and growing stronger each day.