(Journey, archival prints available here! )
"Whatever your turning point is, it will help you look at your life in a different light."
* (I had found this quote in an old O mag and stuck it in my journal...but I don't know who wrote it)
We all have turning points in our lives and when they happen...our whole realities change because...we ourselves change. For me, that turning point happened when two events intersected; I turned 40 and gave birth in the same month! I have no idea if things would have happened quite as they did if these 2 events had happened separately...but this alchemical combination was nothing short of life changing. Things didn't happen really fast (as I always tend to think of change) but actually over a period of about a year after Tara was born. Here I was cooking in a postpartum hormonal soup...and little did I know that what was really happening was that layers and layers of my psychological skins were being peeled off to reveal ...the very heart of me. I was actually birthing mySELF!
It was painful (lots and lots of tears) and terrifying but also...exciting and full of ecstasy and confusion. It was as if that old person I was before this time...completely died and here I was...this entirely different woman who is at once familiar and...completely different! Revealing mySELF and (for the first time in my life) figuring out who I wanted to be rather than what everyone else told me to be. It's been 2 and a half years now...and the process continues. I read, journal, paint, mother, love, ask myself questions over and over again until answers present themselves and ring true. The reason why I am sharing this story is because I strongly and deeply believe that when we share our true selves with each other...it is soul medicine that heals both the teller and the receiver. We are all part of the whole...we are. And when we offer up all of who we are...we transform ourSELVES and each other. And , after all, isn't this the journey?(Owl Woman with Wings, Haida sculpture)
"Think of it.Medicines come through
more than just the mouth.
In the worlds between worlds
the skin can see,
the ears can drink,
the eyes can savor,
the heart can know,
and the knees can fall
in love with hands patting
the seeds into the dirt,
or else seeking, once again,
to sing over. "
-Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes (La Mystica, Book of Prayer manuscript)
As I mentioned...I have been looking, asking questions...and then today...just like magic, the Universe put this in my path. I went to a Balinese art gallery/store looking for some Nag Champa (incense) but found this instead. It's called Owl Woman with wings and... she just spoke to me. It's actually a Northwestern Indian sculpture (Haida) and what it was doing in a Balinese store I have no idea! But anyways...according to Haida symbolism this is what I learned about her after returning home. She sits in the East (the place of illumination on the Medicine Wheel). and while so many of us are afraid of the darkness of night (the unknown), it is Owl's best friend. Owl is powerful medicine! She may be silent but sees and hears everything. Where others are deceived, Owl knows what is there. Owl speaks meaningful speech when it matters and has gifts of clairvoyance, intuition, deep sight (insight). In this particular carving, Owl is bestowing the woman all of these gifts. I feel gifted and blessed...to have her here in my space; more soul medicine. And that is exactly what I wish for you, dear reader, on the other side of your computer screen...in some far (or not so far) corner of the world. I hope you have lots of deep and true soul medicine...songs and poetry, art and truth, messages from the Universe, eyes open to yourSELF...
(full-of-happy Tara)Happy weekend from us over here!!