My He(ART)-Full Life

Sunday, September 12, 2010

unearthing ourSELVES

(Creative Soul Unearthed-original available here!  SOLD)

" The psyches and souls of women also have their own cycles and seasons of doing and solitude, running and staying, being involved and being removed, creating and incubating. being in the world and returning to the soul place."
                     -Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Women Who Run With the Wolves
When I was in my late teens, I used to think that I would arrive at this place one day, where I would have just "found mySELF". Do you know what I mean? ... In this fantasy of mine...I would know exactly who I was and what I was all about. It was a static place...where things never changed (and oh! there was never any housework in this magical place and I was sitting in a coffeehouse somewhere in Italy...always happy, always young!!). I smile at that girl now. My life in my 20's was anything but settled and static. It was a decade of "mending my soul". Can you relate to a much  younger version of  yourSELF now?  Do you smile gently at her...cringe even ...or become sad?
Today I know that unearthing mySELF is all about change. It is ever-growing with so many peaks and valleys... and prairies too. Long stretches where it appears as if everything is staying the same but where, perhaps, the most growth is taking place.When I first started blogging about 8 months ago...I had no idea that I had a secret yearning to write and take photos and a deep deep longing to become a part of  a creative community. "Finding ourSELVES"  is a lot like a treasure hunt, an amazing book that we are writing and reading an unearthing of what is already there. Our inner core remains unchanged but everything else moves like a river. Here are some things I wish I could tell my younger self:
1. Be bold, be courageous, speak up...It has taken a long time for me to feel comfortable in my own skin. I grew up in a pretty traditional Indian household where girls were discouraged from speaking up and claiming their space. Femininity equaled passivity.
2. Everything works out for the will go through some really heart wrenching times where you will think it's the end of the world...but there is an intelligence to this Universe far greater than we will ever know. There are gifts in every situation even though it may be difficult (okay impossible!) to see them now.
3. High school does end...hallelujah!
4. Enjoy all of goes by so fast!
5. be kind..always. There were so many times when I was just not a kind person. Especially to mySELF.
6. learn how to type (oh yeah...and computers too!)
7. Enjoy fitting into those size 3 jeans...that's never going to happen ever!
8. Don't use so much hairspray!! Okay, It was the 80' was hairspray city:)
9. believe in mySELF-don't listen to people who tell me that I can't do this and that. Make those decisions for mySELF.
10. be mySELF  (of course I had no idea who that was back then!) younger have to go through all these opportunities and growth  (otherwise known as mistakes and regrets) to find out!
How about you? What are some things you would tell your younger self? I would love to know.
*Archival prints coming soon!


alison said...

hey soraya, i'm just catching up on blogs, first of all, congratulations on your etsy shop, woohoo! did i congratulate you yet? can't remember, haha! things has been a little crazy over here. i love love love your paintings, are those self portraits?

what i would tell my younger self? "hello? life is too short to be so serious girl, have fun and be happy!"

and you know what? i am much much happier now, well i think we have to go through some unhappiness to really appreciate the joys in life anyways ;)

have a wonderful week ahead soraya!

scrapwordsmom said...

Oh, this is sooooo good, Soraya. Lots of stuff for me to ponder today while I clean and sweep and vacuum!!!

I agree with so many of your thoughts.

The one thing that I'm amazed by is how much more excited I get about my life the older I get. I never knew that would happen!!!

Love ya' sweet girl. You brighten my day;)

samos said...

Hi Soraya! It's so nice to meet you! Thank you for stopping by my blog! I always love meeting new creative souls and another capricorn to boot! =)

I would tell my younger self not to be so wrapped up in a boyfriend when you're young. There is so much of the world to see and so much to do! And don't let anyone hold you back from your dreams! Oh, I think I could go on and on with this topic. A lot to say to my younger self.

Beautiful paintings Soraya! Beautiful!

ArtPropelled said...

It's quite strange comparing who we are now with who we were way back then. I was so easily intimidated. My message to myself would be to stop being a wimp and also to follow my gut feelings because they are usually right.

Blue Moon Mama said...

This is such a great post! As you know I've got quite a few issues with my younger self. I'd just LOVE to be able to go back and do things over or give advice to the younger me.

I'd tell that girl:

Be Hopeful and Lighten up!
You will find love so stop worrying and feeling hopeless and get out and live. Enjoy other things. Don't worry so much about your love life and focus on exploring & enjoying the world. And life does not end or become static at thirty. It's ever changing and growing and it's so much BIGGER than you realize right now.

By the way, thanks for following my blog! ;)

Lis said...

first off, i want to join that "Found" self of yours in Italy!

i too struggled in my 20s and 30s trying to figure out who I was meant to be ... mostly exploring job labels ... thankfully i arrived at a place of exhaustion, realizing just being myself was all i ever wanted or needed to be. i hope i can teach my daughter that lesson - that who she is, as she is, is enough. Enough gifts inside herself to explore, nothing needs to be added.

i love your list ... i wish i had it when i was younger!

what would i tell my younger self? trust yourself, believe in yourself, enjoy yourself ... dare. yeah, just dare.

eva diva said...

Soraya, you've left yet another wonderful question for us to ponder! I am really loving these challenges! =)

For me, I would love to go back to those times when I was still a lost little girl and give her a big hug and as I kneel before her, tell her that she is beautiful, and perfect the way she is! and then hug her some more!

I owed the little girl an apology for being so harsh on her, would also love to tell her I love her!Unconditionally, absolutely, completely!

I feel so loved now just writing this post! Keep these awesome questions coming!