bits + pieces of life around here

 My heart is opening wider and wider, friends...so much so that, at times, I am simply bursting...either with sheer joy at the simplest of things or melting into tears...soaking in old and half forgotten memories. I think part of it is this time of year when we reflect on the past and stand at the cusp of the new year. I have been mulling over my word for the past year (dare!!) and thinking of my new word for 2014. And what I keep coming back to is the word surrender. Now 5 or 10 years ago I would have shuddered at using that word because I couldn't even stand the thought of losing control in that way...I mean...I hated the word in every sense! It symbolized loss, weakness and, honestly... was quite terrifying to me. But now...it radiates with possibility and calm. Timing is everything!! Now surrender holds within it's realm all that is right...it's being present to the here and now, it's calming and expansive at the same time. Now surrender means making peace with who I am , not who I may want to be or think I should be. It's standing firmly in the now while acknowledging my past and creating my future. And the funny thing about picking out a word for the year is that it takes on a life of it's own! What I have discovered + experienced is that the our word(s) teach us what we need to learn rather than what we have planned. So...at this time...I am leaning deeply + w(holy) into ...surrender.

 Speaking of surrender and heart expansion...this sweet little girl right here does a number on me! I can't believe how full of love + laughter + joy she is...the true light in our lives. But friends...parenting is no easy job!!!! Truth: the years are short but the days are long. Now that Tara has started school there are so many more issues that are popping up...how do I raise a daughter that is confident + assertive yet also kind and compassionate? How do I instill a sense of identity and pride in her while still honoring her deep need to fit in? How do I celebrate every aspect of her personality + encourage independent thinking  while staying patient when she tries to negotiate every single request??? No easy answers but I keep on trying + learning. One of the most important things I've learned is this: I'm going to make mistakes, fail horribly and oftentimes...have no idea what I'm doing!!! But...what our children require most from us (I feel) is that we never give up: I just wake up the next morning and try to do better:)

Oh!!! And the baking we have been doing over here!!! There is something intrinsically healing and elemental about baking...I find. Just the creating of it...the nourishing + sharing aspect. Love!!  This is homemade apple pie (with a made from scratch crust recipe to boot!!). The key to a good crust, I am finding out, is to use ice cold water and then...to freeze the butter for a half hour or more after it's cut up in chunks. And I only use real butter, people...absolutely no margarine! This was a cinnamon-eeeee delicious treat Tara and I baked last week.It tasted as good as it looks...wish I could have shared it with you:)

Been reading up a storm here...and am totally taken with Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. I started this book right here...and I have been listening to her TED talks, both of which are phenomenal and resonate with me on  a deep level. In this talk she speaks of the "danger of a single story" ...it's an amazingly lucid talk about how important stories are, why we need to author our own stories and not allow others to define us. I realise that for most of my life (until I became a mother), I allowed myself to be defined by a singular story; that of victim-ology; it was the archetype I most strongly related to. No matter the situation, the relationship or the outcome..that was the story I  lived by. But when I turned 40 + gave birth all at once...there was a paradigm shift. All of  a sudden...there was a change from victim to victor. The transformation has not been easy or fast...but entirely necessary. A must hear talk friends!
And this talk right here  (also by Adichie) on why we should all be feminists. Made me tear up...words to live by + raise my daughter by.
Also...this was a fave. book of mine waaaaay back during my first years of university. I can't believe it's out of print now...I had the most difficult time purchasing a copy ...but now that I finally found one....I am in heaven! In these stories...I feel seen.

Through and through...daddy's girl:)

I haven't been getting in much painting time this year...the truth is, as I get older, it gets more impossibly difficult for me to go into my studio + stay up super late...I mean...I need my sleep:) But still finding time to  create in bits + pieces. This is on my easel right now.

Tara on the other hand, has been finding tons of time to paint! Even though she has her very own big girl creativity center in my studio...we paint at the kitchen table also. She loves experimenting, has her own way of doing things and sings while she works:) LOVE!!!! Also...muffin tins make the best paint trays with their deep and generous wells. I stock up on them at the dollar store.

The weather over here has been decidedly schizophrenic. These 2 pics were taken within days of each other...and we just never know what to expect...one day it's frigid and snowy and a few days later it feels like spring! So instead of complaining about never being able to plan anything out...I decided to go with the flow. Oh!!! It's snowing outside...lets bundle up + go for  a quick photowalk. Or...great...it feels like spring...lets go outside + play ball. So much easier + relaxing that way:)

 

This time of year is full of celebrations for my family. Tim's birthday was yesterday...mine is in a couple of weeks...and then Tara's shortly after!!! Lots of cake around here...which means smaller portions + more gym time:) Lots of gratitude and making more space for joy + simplicity in our lives. I'm trying to practice celebrating every single day with small acts of kindness. Especially toward myself.

And the winter landscapes here are rugged in their beauty...wide open spaces and smoky gray skies.
Reminds me of this poem right here...by Mary Oliver...
"When I am among the trees,
especially the willows and the honey locust,
equally the beech, the oaks and the pines,
they give off such hints of gladness.
I would almost say that they save me, and daily." Aaaaah! How this poem feeds me...how these trees sing to my soul and light me on fire...how the skies glow...and the earth rises up to me. Nothing short of bliss.

 And friends..this Xmas season has been all about light. I am practicing shining my light, reveling in the light and focusing on seeing the light in others.This intention has changed everything! At my most hurried and decidedly ungraceful moments...I take a deep breath, center myself...and focus on the light. Usually my silly irritations fall away and I can move through my day. Mostly...it's about making the choice to focus on gratitude.

this + that (around here lately)

 Friends...we have been deeply immersed in creative play over here! Last week, Tara and I made a huge batch of glitter play-doh (super simple recipe here) and have been having a blast ever since! Play-doh is one of the most amazingly simple creations...ever, ever, ever!!!! The sky's the limit as to what you can do with it...models,bakeries, experiments, art...you name it. Some great links here, here and here but a quick google search with literally bring up countless sites. Now...I admit...it does make  a huge mess but the 20 min. clean up afterwards is well worth it.
Also, about  a month ago, I started reading this parenting book and I got through  a few chapters and realized it was awful!!!!Seriously!!! I really try not to give bad reviews but I felt that the approach  was just plain wrong. I will spare you all the details but ... I am not sure how books like these can even be published under the guise of "helping parents + children".  So after some research...I purchased this book instead and, even though I am only on the second chapter, this book has been amazing!!! Lets just say that there has been more getting on the floor, more play, more imagination, more storytelling + more fun = happy Tara!!

 This is Tara's creative space in the corner of my studio. This used to be my sewing area but it was a wasted space because I don't sew that much (cushions, curtains, doll clothing)...and I just thought it could be better utilized giving it to Tara (great decision!!!). I set everything up so she has easy access to them...markers, crayons, watercolors, papers, paper flowers, feathers, buttons etc etc etc (although I did put the glitter and tempera paints out of her reach!). Not only does she adore her grown up art studio...but she has been creating up a storm! I guide her, show her techniques but most of the time...I let her do her own thing. Nothing makes me happier than watching her! Now...it does mean more messes in my studio...but also...well worth it!

My gorgeous girl at her school Thanksgiving feast last week. I just stood there (very very thankful) and took it all in...the tilt of her face, the singing, the still chubby fingers clapping...the sheer beauty of it all. *sigh*

 

I've also been making time for self care over here (much needed all year round but especially around this time of year, no???)  I've been working out on a regular schedule, having my morning smoothies (chock full of spinach + chia seeds etc) but also allowing myself to indulge every so often. This is a slice of cheesecake (plain= my fave!!!) from the Cheesecake Factory no less (the best!). I find that a cup of tea and a few mags, writing in my journal even for 15 mins. replenishes me throughout the day. 

And we spent all day yesterday setting up our Xmas tree etc. I know...it's not even Thanksgiving yet!!!! But last year was such  mad rush that I decided to get everything ready so we can really relax and enjoy the season. I want more time for crafting + baking, for storytelling and playing...for snuggling in front of the fire and creating memories rather than everything going by in a blur. Plus, this way...we have the tree up for longer:)

this and that

(so happy happy to be painting!)

* I am back to painting!! Okay...my studio is still in shambles with boxes everywhere...but today I managed to paint for  a few hours...luscious... playing in juicy colors, splashing water on canvas...so good!
* Am exhausted from a very long week...had a medical appointment all the way in San Diego proper. Okay...driving on the interstates here...not getting any better. It seems that over here, no one goes the speed limit or signals when they change lanes! Yikes...it's driving me nuts!
* spent half a day this week at the DMV...ughhh!
* Am going to Patty's studio warming tomorrow afternoon...so fun and I can't wait. Hope I am not too sleep deprived and can carry on a somewhat intelligent conversation:)

                                                      (this afternoon...while Tara was napping)
* have no idea how I am going to pick the winner for the tote (bloghop prize). Initially I was going to get Tara to pick out the name but...I was only expecting like... 20 or so people to enter!!! With over a 100 comments...anyone have any ideas???
* I did a really fun interview that Diana is going to post on Sunday...hope you get a chance to read it here!
Hope you all have a great weekend!

Simple DIY project and more!!

(inspiration tree)

Isn't this tree simply gorgeous?!! I picked it up at the craft store and am going to turn it into an inspiration tree for my studio! I love the curves and lines..it has grace, rhythm and magic. I am going to paint it (don't know what color yet) and then use those small wooden pegs (also found them at the craft store) to pin up pics, inspirational quotes, to do lists...I can't wait to show you when I am done!

*Tara is starting to feed herself...messy foods like cereal and yogurt. Never mind that so much of the food ends up everywhere...she is having a blast! I am so proud and happy but so sad!! I remember just a minute ago I was breastfeeding her...where did the time go?

(big girl Tara)

*Summer is almost over! I love all of the seasons (yes, even winter. I am Canadian after all!) but I am glad it is starting to cool down. It has been a long and sweltering season and, like the flowers in my garden, I am feeling a little droopy! I am looking forward to these months ahead.

(last days of summer)

*Last night we had a bit of a scare. Hurricane Earl, a category 4, was heading right this way (we only live 45 mins. away from the Atlantic!). Ever the Marine, Tim insisted that I pack up an emergency bag (food, water, diapers etc) and we planned an evacuation route. Thank goodness by this morning Earl turned north and lost quite a lot of his steam.

*Okay...so now I am going to tag...Meegan, Lis, Alison, Carola, Kerri, Eva, Orly and Patty...Here are the questions!
1. Are you a dog person or a cat person? Both? Neither?
2. If you could spend a week anywhere in the world, where would it be? What would you do?
3. What is your fave home cooked meal?
4. Your perfect evening is...
5. If you could be anyone in history for one day, who would you pick and why?
6. A quality you admire most in others...? Least...?
7. The scariest thing about ageing...
8. At the end of your life, what is the one thing you will regret never having tried? *Psst...maybe you can take a few tiny steps toward that dream today so there will be no regrets later:)  If anyone else would like to join in, you can answer in the comments section. I would love to hear from you! I am taking the weekend off from the computer!! Happy Weekend!