random this and that

(winter on the Ca. coast-a few weekends ago)

I can't believe that our year in California is almost at a close...it seems like we just got here!! I am wondering where all the time went to, why I didn't get together with the girls (Patty, Jane and Pat H. ) more often and how much Tara has grown. Is it just me or is it that as we get older time just flies by at lighting speed?? I also realise how much I have grown through blogging. These honest and deep connections that I have made with so many of you has sustained, nourished and supported me through some very difficult times. Thank you!! You know...before I started my blog about 2 years ago, I was a new mom coping with a lot of things. I was isolated, trying to cope with being a brand new mamma  and being bombarded with a lot of negativity that left me angry and spiraling into a depression. But once I took a leap of faith and plunged into this brand new world of the blogging community...my life literally changed!! I started to get a different perspective, become stronger and more mySELF. Now...with these few weeks ahead of me that  are filled with crazy packing, moving etc...my blog has become that much more important to me...a lifeline with connections, support and therapy...uh...I mean my creative outlet:)

Oh! and I came across this delicious poem last week...I have been thinking about it ever since. I wrote it down in my journal and love it to pieces.

"Moon marked and touched by sun

my magic is unwritten

    but when the sea turns back

    it will leave my shape behind "

                                         -from A Woman Speaks by Audre Lorde

I love Audre Lorde...her warrior/poet spirit touches me to my core. When she wrote her Cancer Journals she really worried that she wouldn't have time to complete her work...that she had left so much unwritten.

It inspires me to continue doing my work now while I am able. Just some random thoughts here and there. I hope you all  have a great day!!

creative voice+ courage= fly!

                                                   (Courage to Find her Creative Voice, 
                                              mixed media, archival prints available here!)
I wrote this post when I first started my blog and I hardly had anyone reading so I wanted to re-post it. It still holds true for me (maybe even more so) today and I know so many of us are searching for our creative voices. For me, it has been a very personal  journey; one that has been full of shaky self confidence, doubts and fears. But I find that the more I use my creative voice, the stronger She becomes. It requires us to be vulnerable, wise, trusting, brave, authentic... whether it's in our writing, our art making, our relationships, our loving.  We are all works in progress...growing and evolving...taking tiny steps on this journey. Here is the post in it's entirety.
 Blogging has given me the courage to find my creative voice. I have always loved photography, painting, drawing, sketching and the written word. Here on my blog, I can develop, combine, explore and share all of this. Just a few days ago I was seriously considering shutting down my blog. Not that I don't appreciate and love this sacred space that I have created...but I was feeling overwhelmed with all that I have going on right now. I happened to pick up the current issue of Artful Blogger and as I read through the articles I realized that, through my blog, I am developing my creative voice.  When I started out, I had no idea this would happen but I find myself going down the magical road of discovery.

                                               (full-of-courage-Tara ...flying!) 
 Here I can explore ideas, post photos, write out my innermost thoughts and dreams or even the mundane aspects of my life. It is narcissistic, yes, but it also stokes the fires of creativity. Here there are communities of artists, writers, photographers...all willing to share, encourage, reach out...Through my blog I can participate in group events and challenges, read and comment on others' blogs and learn, learn, learn!! Here I can see the world through the eyes of each unique individual and share my creative voice and vision as well. I am going to cultivate this sacred space and see where it takes me...both within and outside myself...I am finding the courage to develop my creative voice and it feels good and powerful and right.

                                   (The painting reads "you have wings to fly...FLY"
                                I painted the original for Tara and it hangs in her nursery. 
                                                    Archival prints available here!)

LATER:  Okay, I have been thinking about this post and want to add that by no means does this mean that I don’t have fears about this whole process. Nor does it mean that I don’t have those “monsters under the bed” taking all sorts of shapes and voices. What it does mean is that my creative voice is getting stronger every day, with every post I write, with every act of vulnerability and honesty. Every time I reach out to another blogger, participate in a challenge or encourage and share with someone else-my creative voice thrives and takes on a life of it’s own. It springs forth as a flower in full bloom, maybe even a tree! So now when those “weeds” of negativity spring forth, I don’t feed or pay attention to them. They will probably always be there but get smaller and more insignificant with time as my creative voice gets stronger. This is made all the more powerful by the fact that I come from a culture and family of origin where women are not given a voice, where it is looked upon as a horrible act (punishable by all forms of violence and ostracism) for a woman to be outspoken, intelligent, strong, honest, original, forthright…So the act of me cultivating my creative voice is not only important, it is lifesaving.

 

(it takes courage to create)

                                                                

Heart and Meaning

I am immersed in a journey of HEART and MEANING! This is part of  a page in my sketchbook for Kelly's class and I am asking mySELF all sorts of questions! I don't know a lot of the answers yet but...I am going to give mySELF permission to evolve, to celebrate the journey of not knowing and to create the SELF I want.

I wish all of you a HAPPY FRIDAY full of HEART!

On Being Inspired

When I first started my blog, I was a little apprehensive for so many different reasons...but now I see what an amazing world of inspiration there is out there in "blogland"! There are so many talented, amazing, wonderful artists who are willing to share and encourage and teach and explore and be vulnerable and...I am simply amazed and humbled! There is a whole world out there that I have been missing! Truly glad, humbled, blessed that I took a (small) leap into blogging. I feel so grateful to be a tiny part of such a large community.