(Tara-a few days old)
Who knew that such a tiny person could hold my whole heart in her hands? This journey of motherhood never ceases to amaze me, wrap me up in awe and open up my heart more and more each day. From the time she was born....Tara just snatched up my whole being; I couldn't believe that this beautiful little angel was my daughter! When I was pregnant, I had so many fears I obsessed over; they ranged from the irrational (what if I fell down the stairs while carrying her?) to the plausible (how would I know how to mother her)...I read countless books ...but all of these fears just melted away once I laid eyes on her. She was literally attached to me for the first 8 months...I carried her in my Moby wrap and she slept with me. Either way...she was always with me. I had people tell me I was "spoiling" her and all sorts of other nonsense but my heart told me differently. How can you spoil a baby with love and touch and attention? Even now...I carry her as much as she wants...pretty soon, she is going to be all grown up; I just know it! Not to say that this journey is easy...I am constantly questioning my choices ...am I indulging her too much? do I have unrealistic expectations? am I setting boundaries? How do I raise a strong girl/woman?And just when I think I have a small part figured out...everything changes! But at the end of the day...I try to be kind, show her how much I adore her, cheer her on, teach her and have fun with her. I don't always succeed but I always try my best; very mindful of this little soul that has been entrusted to Tim and I. The best piece of advice I got was this..."just enjoy her!" This is my baby girl! I look forward to all our little steps and adventures together...Next...comes potty training! Yikes!!!
