healing and leaning into my creative self

 "Ours is not the task of fixing the entire world all at once, but of stretching out to mend the part of the world that is within our reach. One of the most calming and powerful actions you can do to intervene in a stormy world is to stand up and show your soul. Soul on deck shines like gold in dark times. the light of the soul throws sparks, can send up flares, builds signal fires." -Dr. Clarrisa Pinkola Estes

Ours is not the task of fixing the entire world all at once, but of stretching out to mend the part of the world that is within our reach. One of the most calming and powerful actions you can do to intervene in a stormy world is to stand up and show your soul. Soul on deck shines like gold in dark times. The light of the soul throws sparks, can send up flares, builds signal fires
Read more at: http://www.azquotes.com/author/4563-Clarissa_Pinkola_Estes

Ours is not the task of fixing the entire world all at once, but of stretching out to mend the part of the world that is within our reach. One of the most calming and powerful actions you can do to intervene in a stormy world is to stand up and show your soul. Soul on deck shines like gold in dark times. The light of the soul throws sparks, can send up flares, builds signal fires
Read more at: http://www.azquotes.com/author/4563-Clarissa_Pinkola_Estes

Ours is not the task of fixing the entire world all at once, but of stretching out to mend the part of the world that is within our reach. One of the most calming and powerful actions you can do to intervene in a stormy world is to stand up and show your soul. Soul on deck shines like gold in dark times. The light of the soul throws sparks, can send up flares, builds signal fires
Read more at: http://www.azquotes.com/author/4563-Clarissa_Pinkola_Estes

  I have so much to share about  my journey of healing and creativity...where do I start? Okay...my work has been stagnant for the past...I don't even know how long! It's been frozen and stuck and stilted. But...so have I! What I'm discovering (and I am going to be writing so much more about this in future blog posts) is that healing and creativity are intrinsically linked. For me...there is no separation. For the past many years I have been so stuck in my healing journey. Yes...I was working on things, going to therapy every single week, owning up to hard truths and processing frozen emotions from my abusive childhood...but recovery is not a linear process. It's just not! And for that matter...neither is life or creativity or relationships etc. So...yes...I continued painting but I was so unhappy with my work. I had so much to share...I had images in my heart and mind of what I wanted my painting to emerge as ...but the same frozen images kept on showing up again...and again...and again. It's almost like I just had to paint the same frozen girl/woman every single time. And so...I did!! That girl was me. I was frozen and locked in pain, suffering, denial, suffering and even apathy. So...this girl just had to be painted over and over and over again.

Fast forward to a few months ago...and I began to feel myself healing, letting go, awakening. Basically...the key was to just be where I am. It's that simple...and that difficult. No matter what came up...I decided to step into it. If I was melancholy or angry or in a funky depression...so be it. If I had to paint the same lady 101 times...well...okay then! And I had to face some terribly difficult truths. Things I had a deep knowing of that the logical mind doesn't particularly want to face...but...there it is! And in this space of true acceptance...I experienced the beginnings of healing, transformation and yes!!! ...creativity. I felt the ice thawing and my emotions spilling out onto the page. I felt free and wild and almost possessed with painting. I felt opened up to dreams, poetry, images, wet paint and wild passions.

So...I signed Tara and I up for Bliss class and it's the absolute perfect opportunity and partner to my healing/creativity right now!! Juliette doesn't teach us how to paint like her...but she teaches us how to paint like ourSELVES. She has given me the gift of opening mySELF up to my own stories, images, truthtelling and artistry. She is generous in sharing all of her tools and techniques and then allows us...gives us the space and courage...to make them our own; to put our own twist on it. And I feel so free...it's not about right or wrong...it's about curiosity, playing, experimenting and showing up to do the work. I can't recommend this class enough!

“creative entitlement simply means believing that you are allowed to be here, and that—merely by being here—you are allowed to have a voice and a vision of your own.” - Elizabeth Gilbert, Big Magic
And so...I'm learning to make friends with my fears, to invite them along for the ride, ask them what they might have to show me...and keep on making my art. I'm learning to trust my art, my vision, my journey, my stories...my SELF. I'm also making friends with my potential...my unique voice, my courage and truth. I feel fierce yet...vulnerable. I can stand in this moment, firmly, set boundaries, ask for what I need, give myself what I need and keep on keeping on. Knowing all the while that it's all about the journey. In art...and in life. xxx