My He(ART)-Full Life

Friday, May 8, 2015

my girl

My girl is growing up so so fast...truly...too fast for my liking! We took her to Disney World for her 6th birthday and as I look back on all these years gone by...I am amazed at the person she is! While I miss her baby years...of course!!!...sweet baby smells and carrying her around and taking baths with her and and and. But I also relish in the NOW of her. She is energetic, sassy, strong willed, incredibly smart and sweet and ...just an amazing little kid. She asks 10 million questions and I try to answer them as best as I can. We have long conversations about everything. She tells me all the stuff that's important to her (tooth fairies, princesses, trees, her friends, ice cream) and I listen and marvel. Nothing makes me happier than seeing her eyes light up, a huge smile spreading over her gorgeous face...hearing her laugh. Watching her grow and bloom and blossom is a true privilege for me. All the more because I gave birth at the age of 40...she is a gift. Not that mothering has been easy for me; it actually has been incredibly difficult in a myriad of ways. I have made so many mistakes along the way and what I am just now discovering is this: the very best thing I can do is to heal myself. To practice self forgive myself as often as necessary. To be self compassionate. To really and truly be kind to myself and to be very clear about what that entails (for me). To be absolutely truthful with myself. To offer mySELF some grace when I stumble and fall as I inevitable will. Practicing all of these things will inevitably make me a healthier, stronger human/mother/wife/friend/artist/writer etc. 
And here is my sweet girl...very independent and self assured...wanting to navigate the world on her own terms. So many many times...she teaches me. And I am grateful for the lessons and for the opportunity to fully love.

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