My He(ART)-Full Life

Sunday, October 20, 2013

letting go: embracing vulnerability and imperfection

This seems to be the theme around here lately...letting all aspects of my life. It took me awhile to catch on, but I believe that's exactly how the Universe works...if you don't pay attention to the delicate nudges...they just get louder and louder! And so I am allowing myself to shed layers and guises, to let go of all that simply has no use in my life anymore. Here is a current work in progress...and I am letting go of what I want the painting to be to bring forth what it wants to be. I have no idea what that is right now...which is frustrating and exciting all mixed up! I am trying out new things and pushing mySELF especially where I sense resistance and tension.I am trying to be vulnerable in my art making, my relationships, my parenting...and it's scary! But, at the end of the there any other way?

And...I am cleaning things out everywhere...especially my closet!  I have clothing that I haven't worn for years, that don't even fit me anymore (lifestyle and size!!!) and ...stuff I can't even remember ever buying or wearing!!! Eeeeek!  It was so time consuming to go through everything (I had been putting it off for ages!) but...I finally cleaned out the clutter. And can I just say what a huge difference it has made??? In a practical sense, it's so much easier for me to get dressed now because I can actually find things! But metaphorically...there is a huge sigh of relief, a clearing of space, a letting go of the old to make room for the new. I feel lighter...renewed, refreshed and change, somehow. I can't recommend it enough!

 "Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.” -Brene Brown e-course with Oprah and Dr. Brene Brown started today. I am so ready for it...bring on the messiness! I read this book a few months ago and every single word/concept resonated with me...there were aha! moments and deep sighs of relief on just about every page. For so much of my life...I ran away from my story but at some point it simply became too exhausting. I had to sit down and gather up all of me; the shame and vulnerability, the hope and promise, the dark and the light. I simply had to be me!

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