My He(ART)-Full Life

Friday, December 30, 2011

2011 year review so many of you, I can't believe how fast this year has just zoomed by!! It all seems kind of incredible...doesn't it?? When I really try to think of a word that encapsulates the whole year...I think it would have to be ...brave. When I catch my breath and really think about it all...this year required me to step up to my higher self and pull all of the courage scattered within me brave. There were events that scorched and laid bare so many of my fears. For Tim and I...some of our dreams were broken and left for us to piece back together...into new hopes, new dreams...different paths. Some of our deepest wishes did not come true and left us weary and angry, hurting and lost. Some events left us reeling with mistrust and disbelief... shocked and wounded. And through it all...through it all...there were gosamer threads of joy...explosions of happiness... beauty and hope. And love. Always always ...there was love. Because that's the way life tends to be...a mixed bag. And we had to be brave...through it all...we had to be brave. Brave to meet our pain and brave to meet our joy.
Okay...I am finding out that motherhood requires us to be brave!!! I was a bit slow to catch on...but I think that's one of the primary requirements!! I had to be brave enough to love so deeply...without expecting anything in return (okay...maybe a kiss or a cheeky grin!). Watching my little baby grow up has been a gift...unimaginable.  She is a little girl full of heart + sass + love. And then...I thought I was going to get away without Tara going through the terrible twos. such luck. Just two months before her 3rd hit us all like a ton of bricks. I became desperate and tried reading and implementing all sorts of strategies...until I found this book. Reading through this I felt a huge sense of relief... a letting go. Her whole approach works for me and just makes sense. I decided to simply relax and enjoy my baby girl. There is nothing to do. Zen parenting works! For now!!
A large part of this year was spent with Tim working away from us during the week. It was tough...not just on me but on Tara also; on our whole family unit. We made the most of our weekends but it was difficult.  But this man right here is my soft place to fall. Tim went through some extremely difficult times and still...maintained his heart and integrity. Marriage opened up new doors within me this year...I fell in love all over again with my a completely different way.

Bravery showed up in all sorts of ways in my art as well. Over and over again...I started putting more and more of my stories, mySELF, my heart into my paintings. My style is evolving and I am excited about the direction of my art. It's amazing for me to see where my art goes . I want to write more, paint more, add more of my stories and heart...we'll see where it all goes:)

OMG!!! And as a wonderful early Xmas gift...I was published in the Somerset Studio Gallery Winter 2012. I am over the moon excited about it...and I still can't believe it (am I dreaming???). It still feels surreal to me. I am beyond thrilled + thankful + over the moon.
Throughout the year I met the most wonderful ladies...connections were made and hearts touched. It was the most amazing sense of community where we could chat about...well, everything!! Nothing was off limits and there was always respect and honesty. And laughter. Sometimes wine too!! Ladies...I am going to miss you soooooo much!! But we're gonna' see each other soon...I just know it!!
As I said...this year was full of surprises and ups and downs...I am just so thankful that it is all here....recorded on my blog. And oh!! yeah...we started the year in Ca. and ended up in Colorado. We are going to be here until Tara graduates from high least, that's the plan!!

So...dear year 2011, thank you for all you given me, the experiences you have presented to me that allowed me to step more into mySELF. Thank you for all your wonder....the relationships that developed. As we go along our journey..I know that things are exactly as they are supposed to be...I am stepping into this new year being wide open to life. I have no words or intentions...just being open to what is. So goodbye 2011...and welcome YEAR 2012!!!
Happy New Year everyone!!! See you on the other side:)


scrapwordsmom said...

What a beautiful life, Soraya! Love your look back...I am so proud of you for being published and making the cover no less. I bought it right away:)

I am sooo looking forward to 2012! I will be sharing my WORD on MOnday:)

SooZeQue said...

All said so beautifully - I love that part that says "gossamer threads of joy". I have to remember that line! Thanks for sharing yourself with me/us. I look forward to sharing in the new year. Go well my friend and how exciting to "stay put"! yEEpEE

laurie said...

happy new year, brave girl! you are right that all things in life, the good and not so good, require us to have courage. you are in such a good space right now and posed to venture into 2012 with that same sense of love, courage and creativity.

jane said...

And YOU, my friend, have helped me to be brave through the difficulties of this year. Thank you. And OH YES< I will see you in Colorado in 2012. xox Jane

Kelly said...

What a beautiful post, Soraya! I'm so glad I've been here to share all of these moments with you. It has been a gift to me. I hope 2012 brings you much joy and happiness! (My bag has been a little heavy lately, and I don't feel much like draging it around via the web, but today has the word "new" in it and I'm so very excited about that!!)

Kay said...

so brave and what a wonderful post have a very happy new year

mansuetude said...

Brave indeed. Blessings to you in your new location as you all settle in. I lost some things too, but I found some new, too. Or they found me.

Happy New Year.

Kelly Berkey said...

Congratulations on being published, on getting through the past year with such an open heart, and for your new home!

Hope 2012 is a little less of a roller-coaster for you! xo,

Kerri said...

what an awesome end of the year post! i am so glad you wre able to put so much of your life down here on your blog this year too! cheers to being brave!