(She trusted the journey, she trusted herSELF
archival prints available here!)
One of the really difficult lessons I have learned along the way-that I am still learning -is this. Sometimes I just have to show up and do my best. After a looooong day with Tara (we get up at about 6 a.m), the last thing I want to do when I get her off to sleep at night (8-8:30 p.m.) is go into my studio. But I show up. Sometimes I do backgrounds or work on paintings in various stages. Sometimes I read, write or just piddle around. Whether it's for a half hour or 4 hours.It's the same here on my blog. I don't always know what I am going to write about. Sometimes I feel that I have nothing important to say or share. Sometimes I wonder why I blog at all. If anyone is reading this or whether my words make any sense. But still...I show up.
(my studio table...a few minutes ago)
I think it's the same with life...every single aspect of it. When I question my abilities as a mother/artist//wife....I just show up...with all of my insecurities and baggage and pain and vulnerabilities. With all of my joy and questions and sass and humor. With all of my anger and creativity and heart and spirit. Mistakes and mayhem... I just show up and do my best.
(Tara girl painting)
I really hope I can instill that in Tara. that winning is not as important as trying. That doing your best and giving your all is...winning. That the journey -while it may not take us where we want to go-takes us exactly where we need to go. That if we trust in ourSELVES, and trust in our journey...life carries us to places we can't even imagine. Places within ourSELVES that are... real. That's where life lies...this is where our journey takes us.