My He(ART)-Full Life

Thursday, March 10, 2011

when our fears come knocking...

(mixed media on canvas, It reads "She has faith in her path...even when her fears come knocking" Archival prints available soon!)

A few days ago Holly gave  a podcast on fear in BYW. It was honest, insightful and offered us a fresh, bold perspective on that dreaded four letter word!! I started thinking about the many many times when fear had paralyzed me and years (yes years!) slipped away. I wrote a long post all about fear last year and decided to re-post it right now. I mean fear is something we all experience from time to time so here are a few helpful tips/insights that I have learned along the way. They help me push through my fears and get to the other side.

1. Acknowledge them-I write down all my fears in my journal no matter how small or silly or huge they are. Just getting it out and seeing it written down robs them of their power.
2. I challenge each one. So for each specific one such as I won't have enough time to do XYZ I countered it with a schedule or a way to make it work.
3. Go for a walk. I put Tara in her stroller and just get outside. There is something about being out in nature that really makes all of my troubles seem lighter, smaller and workable.
4. I play the "so what" game. I know it may sound foolish but just try it! I promise you it works like a charm. This is how it goes:
fear: "you are going to fail miserably"
me: "so what?"
fear: " well, your feelings will be hurt, you will feel bad"
me: "so what?"
You get the idea:) After a few minutes of this I am giggling all over the place at what Buddhists call "monkey mind" This really robs fears of all it's power. Try it!

5. I paint, write, take photos, scrapbook, do a DIY project... Just the very act of creating replaces fear with confidence, trust and calm.
6. I talk to a trusted friend to get it all out. Sometime just a kind word or some encouragement goes a long way.
7. I ask for help. This is really difficult for me but I am working on it.
8. I read about others' trials. There are countless stories of the book that was rejected a hundred times before going on to become a bestseller etc.
But here's the secret! The number one most effective thing I do is to treat my fears with kindness, respect and humility. Why? Because sometimes our fears are not really fears at all, they are our deepest potential just waiting to manifest themselves. How? They give us an opportunity to be more creative, develop courage, work harder and become more committed. They can allow us to shed our false selves and become authentic, vulnerable, compassionate. They show us that we are not complacent, just going through life...but that we are pushing our boundaries and! They can be our teachers and...dare I say, our friends! Fears develop our soul strength and stamina for all the difficulties that we will face in our lives. And our joys, our successes. How do you work through your fears...I would love to know!


Lovey said...

Yes! Beautiful!

Diane said...

Amen to that-I seem to fear every new thing--but I always remember the quote--do something that scares you everyday--so when I have those times--I just do that and face my fears.....usually ;)

Robinsunne said...

Thanks for a great post. I especially liked the part about kindness.

scrapwordsmom said...

Wonderful, authentic post!! I do have many fears...but lately I am pushing past them and moving on up:)

How do I do it? Sometimes I just go for it...I "do it anyway", I pray, I read inspirational quotes, magazines, blogs and I read my Scriptures.

Love Ya'

kelly said...

This is a great post, Soraya. Really something I need to take to heart. I can't wait until your prints are available!

eva diva said...

Oh how I love the truth and wisdom in "fear is our deepest potential waiting to manifest itself." I do do do believe in that.

For me, I acknowledge fear as a state of mind/emotions that can be change, journal abt it, breathe, read inspirational books, meditate, affirm that I can do it and take actions and surrender the outcome.

I am proud of how far I've come and know I've much much more to experience and achieve!

Keep these posts flowing and thank Q, Soraya, they are words to feed my soul and spirit!

Wini said...

Great Post, thank you...!! I need to keep all your tips in mind,Wini xo