this is what's true

                                                             

"We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us."

                                                                                       -Joseph Campbell

This week has been full of letting go for me and there is a deep and abiding sadness. It's one thing to talk about letting go and having every intention to do so...but (as we all know) it's a completely different thing to actually do it. The seriously difficult work of coming to terms with our life as it is...can break us open.

Layered in with all of this pain and sadness though...There is a sense of relief, an opening of my heart to create a space for whatever lies ahead. A tenderness and a lighting up of my spirit.
I firmly believe that when we hold onto things that are causing us pain in some way (ideas, expectations, desires, toxic thought patterns, friendships etc) ...we are stopping the positive flow of energy into our lives. All the wonderful experiences, gifts, people, relationships that are meant to manifest but aren't able to because we are holding on.

And my holding on is caused by fear. So many fears.

*the fear of getting old.

*of being alone.

*of dying alone.

*of caring for mySELF.

*of not being enough.

*of burying dreams I had for my life.

But...I am trying (difficult as it is) to leap across the abyss of my fears...into

*faith

*love

*hope

*joy

*acceptance.

*courage

*compassion

That is my deepest wish for mySELF right now and...for you too...dear reader. xxx

working through our fears

(works in progress)

A few days ago I was overcome by fear;  since we all face them I thought I would share some practical tips that allowed me to work through them.
 1. Acknowledge them-I wrote down all my fears in my journal no matter how small or silly or huge they were. Just getting it out and seeing it written down robs them of their power.
2. I challenged each one. So for each specific one such as I won't have enough time to do XYZ I countered it with a schedule or a way to make it work.
3. Go for a walk. I put Tara in her stroller and just get outside. There is something about being out in nature that really makes all of my troubles seem lighter, smaller and workable.
4. I play the "so what game". I know it may sound foolish but just try it! I promise you it works like a charm. This is how it goes: 
fear:  "you are going to fail miserably"
me:  "so what?"
fear: " well, your feelings will be hurt, you will feel bad"
me: "so what?"
You get the idea:) After am few minutes of this I am giggling all over the place at what Buddhists call "monkey mind" This really robs fears of all it's power.
5. I paint. Just the very act of creating replaces fear with confidence, trust and calm.
6. I talk to a trusted friend to get it all out. Sometime just a kind word or some encouragement goes a long way.
7. I ask for help. This is really difficult for me but I am working on it.
8. I read about others' trials. There are countless stories of the book that was rejected a hundred times before going on to become  a bestseller etc.
But here's the secret! The number one most effective thing I do, though, is to treat my fears with kindness, respect and humility. Why? Because sometimes our fears are not really fears at all, they are our deepest potential just waiting to manifest themselves. How? They give us an opportunity to be more creative, develop courage, work harder and  become more committed. They can allow us to shed our false selves and become authentic, vulnerable, compassionate. They show us that we are not complacent, just going through life...but that we are pushing our boundaries and growing...living! They can be our teachers and...dare I say, our friends! Fears develop our soul strength and stamina for all the difficulties that we will face in our lives. And our joys, our successes. How do you work through your fears...I would love to know!