heart changer

I received this book a few days ago and , while I had absolutely no idea what exactly to expect, I do know that I love Susannah's blog + heart + images. Well..I have been reading this book nonstop and all I can say is this...it is nothing short of revolutionary; life changing + heartchanging. I laughed, I cried...I see mySELF in her words. Yes...it's a book about photography...but so much much more than that. I have tons of books about shutter speeds + F-stops...and of course all the technical stuff is important. But what about our hearts + souls?? What about our heartbreaks? Our life experiences and the totality of who we are as human beings? Everything from mood, lighting, what we choose to include in our photos (+ perhaps more importantly, what we choose to leave out)...all depend on who we are, our emotions and experiences. Our very hearts + souls. Susanah talks honestly (so honestly I am completely in awe + totally inspired) about everything from...

Gee, where would I even begin??

She speaks honestly + bravely about her childhood (abandonment and heartbreak), love + loss, embarrassment + "not being/feeling enough", about bereavement and falling apart and depression and insecurities, ageing + our changing bodies, creative biz, listening to our hearts, being vulnerable, friendships, blogging, belonging to a "tribe of one" ...and this whole messy mixed bag of ...life!!! And, if we are to create meaningful relationships + lives + work and..., don't we have to bring all of who we are into it???? This book is beyond anything I could have imagined...it is chock full of content and is thick and small like a little secret you can fit anywhere. And that is exactly what I have been doing...reading it everywhere...in a coffee shop, in the garden, preparing Tara's breakfast:) Yes people...it's that kind of book!!!

It came at just the right time too...because I have been feeling especially vulnerable, insecure and "not enough" these past few days. Especially as it relates to my art + creative life. I don't know in what direction my art is going, where I want it to go and...since we got back from our trip, I haven't even been in my studio!!! I have 10 hundred million things to do...and even though I was supposed to be taking a computer break last week...I have been spending waaaaay too much time on Pinterest + pissing around on Facebook:) Also been excavating some very painful memories + pieces of my life ... doing the final edit for my interview with Rita Banerji. Telling the absolute truth is painful. Cathartic...but still it hurts. I realise...more than ever...that we are, every single one of us...very fragile + complicated + messy + wonderful + hurt + unique and and and. Thank you Susannah...for your beautiful brave soul, your humor and honesty, for showing us your SELF...I needed the reminder as well as the inspiration. This I know...your book is an absolute heartchanger!!! xxx

Guided

I just completed this piece a week or so ago-I work on a number of paintings simultaneously and they complete themselves when ready. It is called GUIDED. I know that I, like all of us, are guided. When I was younger, I ignored my inner guidance as if it wasn't there at all or wasn't important or real. As I get older though, I listen more and more to my inner voice. The voice that tells me to be true to myself, to follow my path , to be authentic and daring and vulnerable. I am also guided by other creative voices on my path-other artists and writers and ...kindred spirits in the blogging community...my husband, as well ,who constantly supports my journey.