heart full of hope, mothering, unplugged

   (She has a heart full of hope and a pocket-ful of dreams, archival prints available here!)

"Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer."       - Rainer Maria Rilke 

These days my interior world is opening up in ways I never could have imagined; rich, deep and full of valuable treasures. I see now that absolutely nothing in the psyche is ever lost. That every single person and experience has been in my life for a reason; to bring me closer and closer to mySELF. To the self I am meant to be. It is like that for us all...if we open our inner eyes, trust ourSELVES and bring our heart to all things we do. I am not even searching for answers right now...but simply soaking into the questions. Asking myself what do I really want, what are my dreams, how do I want to live this life of mine, what kind of legacy do I want to leave, how do I want Tara to remember me...? For too too many years I have asked the absolute wrong questions and then chased after the (wrong!) answers. No more. There is so much hope in my heart now because...I am simply trusting in the process...and listening to my heart.
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(last week sometime)

Navigating parenthood (and toddler hood!!) with Tara is all about giving her little bits of independence. She's not a baby anymore but "Tara-poo, thank you very much" . And no "kissies and huggies pleeeeze"; for the most part she has to initiate it. As I see it, a large part of my duty as a mother is to bring her to the doorstep of  her own power. I want her to be her shining bright self no matter what she chooses to do in life. I want so much for her to live out her dreams and goals...no matter what they may be. I want her to be her very best Self and always speak her truth. As her little personality develops, she continues to surprise us with her tenacity, courage and daring spirit. I only have a short time to shape her world...and I want it to be fertile ground that she can bloom in. Stories, poems, nature, spirit, art making,  mistakes, learning, talking to trees and the moon, kindness, courage, 2 feet planted in the earth and her aim for the stars, dancing, truth-telling, vulnerability... listening to the wild wolf inside...all fertile ground. It's a learning process for our whole family, let me tell you,  as we forge this path of parenthood.

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(yesterday afternoon?)

We are leaving for the mountains early on Friday morning...going totally unplugged for a few days. I am packing a couple of books, my journal, camera and..not much else!  Plan on doing absolutely nothing but relax:) I am hoping for lots and lots of sleep, laid back hikes, sunshine, laughter and fresh mountain air. 4 whole days of rejuvenation= bliss! Will be back here in this space on Tues. of next week so...I hope you all have a great weekend and unplug a little too. xxx