Day 9 :August break

 

I am

 

'The wild woman carries with her the bundles for healing; she carries everything a woman needs to be and know. She carries the medicine for all things." -Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes (WWRWW)

This self portrait was taken in the year after I gave birth to my daughter and remains, to this day, an absolute fave. of mine!! Even now...just looking at it makes me smile!! I gave birth (for the first time!!) at age 40 and this photo stands as a testament to the heady, powerful and very real feeling I had of gathering myself up, claiming my power and standing very firmly in the center.  It's not about the purely visual image...not about my stretchmarks (which are visible if you look closely) or about my added pounds post pregnancy. It's not about any of that but rather about the claiming of it all. As women (and -for lack of a better definition-as a visible minority woman of color-very clumsy + awkward, I know- ) we are constantly bombarded and saturated with negative messages...images of what we should like, how we should act and feel and think and...on and on. Well...for some magical reason...for me...giving birth and turning 40 in the same month, stripped all of that away. The striving, the wanting to be other than, the not enough-ness that has followed me my entire life, the pain of not fitting in...all of that just fell away to reveal...what had been there all along; hidden and patient. Now my beauty (or lack of) was not defined by society, the scale, the mirror...the junk. It was revealed to me by my baby's smile, breastfeeding, gurgling and cooing...first steps and smiles and love...tenderness and longing. This photo was also the first time I started to realize the very powerful and healing effects of self portraiture. It showed me how I could define (and re-define) mySELF rather than surrender to the images society projected. It gave me a means to harness my strengths and stand firmly (and proudly) in who I am. This photo was the seed for the self confidence to start writing my blog, sharing my stories and getting back to painting. This photo says..."I am here. I am me. I am." 

(mostly) wordless Wednesday

 On my easel right now...I started by working over an existing canvas...first using tons of collage and then using  lighter, summery colors. Loving the feel of it already and can't wait to see how it turns out!

 This is Tara's new fave place to hang out...isn't it cute?? We move it around everywhere...into her bedroom, by the huge bay window with sunshine pouring in...out to the backyard. It's her cosy  little nesting place for reading, dreaming and playing:)

 Early morning walks on wet grass = summery love!

 One of our all time fave summer activities...reading! This right here is Tara's new fave book...besides the over the top gorgeous, colorful illustrations...it shares some very important lessons on believing and trusting in ourselves, friendship, standing up for ourselves...and it provides so many opportunities for questions and conversations.

maps to ecstasy

"In many shamanic societies, it you came to a shaman or medicine person complaining of being disheartened, dispirited, or depressed, they would ask you one of four questions: When did you stop dancing? When did you stop singing? When did you stop being enchanted by stories? When did you stop finding comfort in the sweet territory of silence?"

- Gabrielle Roth, Maps to Ecstasy

beauty to the center of my heart

"Love so vast, love the sky cannot contain. How does all this fit inside my heart." ~ Rumi

offering

photowalk magic

 

 

resting...

I decided to join Susannah Conway's no rules August Break...where there are ...no rules!! It's where I can take a mini break from wordy posts while still exercising my creative muscles:) If you think you may be interested in joining...head over here. 

hello August (break!!)

 Our mornings are spent sitting in the sunshine...reading, listening to music, chatting and eating breakfast. Then it's off to the pool or classes or the park ...or the library.

 

Then...more sitting in the sunshine...reading, painting, looking at the natural world ...sitting...

And lots of baking, popsicle making and other goodness going on over here. I've also been waking up at 5 a.m. to fit in my workouts (more on that soon!). August just came right on by in a snap!!! and...we are wanting to savor this last summer month. Taking a bit of an August break over here friends...which means that I'll be posting more pics and less words. Of course, knowing me, some days there will be plenty of words as well! But right now...I'm feeling that I just want to soak up all the summer goodness around me...the birds and the trees, green leaves and blooms and of course...sunshine. Happy August everyone!!!

showing up: day #31

 This blog challenge/love affair has been well, sort of challenging and inspiring all at once. Some days as I sat in front of my computer at 6:30 a.m. ...I thought to myself "what in the blazes was I thinking...I should be in bed!!". But truthfully, most days, I actually looked forward to writing a blog post. Most days...I relished in sharing pieces of mySELF, showing up and being seen. I've .tried to push my writing and photography in a new direction...and it's something I definitely want to focus more on. I've learned that I don't always have to try so hard...I can simply be me, just show up with all of who I am in that moment and ...it's okay; I am enough. Most days...that was true. Of course there were days when I most definitely did not feel that way...but I showed up anyways. And friends, I have to say that when we do that...something magical and transformative happens; an internal shift that takes us to the next step, the next place, another part of our journey. So...I am super grateful for this blog challenge. And...I can't believe tomorrow is August!!!