a few lessons I have learned

                                         (Heart Wide Open, archival prints available here)
I watched the very last Oprah show today and...I just can't believe that it's been 25 years. I can't even begin to explain what Oprah means to me, the impact she has had on my life and like gazillions of others...how dearly I will miss her. When her show first came on the air, I was a young teen. We had only recently moved to Canada; I was born and raised until I was 12 years old under apartheid (a whole other post on what that experience was like!). Anyways...watching her show through my teens was an anchor in my very painful  life. Here are just a few lessons I have learned through the years from Oprah:

 * claiming our shame is the first step to releasing and healing ourSELVES. When she so openly talked about her sexual abuse, battle with weight, her painful childhood...she gave us all permission to talk about our pain. That was big, huge for me. I learned early on to speak my truth no matter what.
* gratitude. I keep a gratitude journal because of her and what blessings they have brought! But more importantly, focusing on gratitude has made me realise how rich and blessed I really am.
* feminism is not a dirty word! Here is  a self made woman in every sense of the word and she did it by being herSELF!!!
* she mothered me with her wisdom and encouragement and I hung on for dear life.
*  we "are not defined by our mistakes"
* have an open heart...to life; all of it! The heartbreak, pain, joy, success...the whole shebang!
*I am worthy. She taught me that...yes she did. Having come from  a very dysfunctional and painfully abusive childhood...she was the very first person to ever say that to me.
But I think the most important thing I have learned from her has been this...when we are truly ourSELVES and live from the heart, when we align our intentions with our actions, when we speak our truths and share our stories and lessons...we empower ourSELVES and others. I hope I can pass these lessons down to Tara through my living them out.
When I watched her farewell show today, I was bawling let me tell you. As Tara said ..."Orr-pah. Aw gone!") 

when our fears come knocking...

(mixed media on canvas, It reads "She has faith in her path...even when her fears come knocking" Archival prints available soon!)

A few days ago Holly gave  a podcast on fear in BYW. It was honest, insightful and offered us a fresh, bold perspective on that dreaded four letter word!! I started thinking about the many many times when fear had paralyzed me and years (yes years!) slipped away. I wrote a long post all about fear last year and decided to re-post it right now. I mean fear is something we all experience from time to time so here are a few helpful tips/insights that I have learned along the way. They help me push through my fears and get to the other side.

1. Acknowledge them-I write down all my fears in my journal no matter how small or silly or huge they are. Just getting it out and seeing it written down robs them of their power.
2. I challenge each one. So for each specific one such as I won't have enough time to do XYZ I countered it with a schedule or a way to make it work.
3. Go for a walk. I put Tara in her stroller and just get outside. There is something about being out in nature that really makes all of my troubles seem lighter, smaller and workable.
4. I play the "so what" game. I know it may sound foolish but just try it! I promise you it works like a charm. This is how it goes:
fear: "you are going to fail miserably"
me: "so what?"
fear: " well, your feelings will be hurt, you will feel bad"
me: "so what?"
You get the idea:) After a few minutes of this I am giggling all over the place at what Buddhists call "monkey mind" This really robs fears of all it's power. Try it!

5. I paint, write, take photos, scrapbook, do a DIY project... Just the very act of creating replaces fear with confidence, trust and calm.
6. I talk to a trusted friend to get it all out. Sometime just a kind word or some encouragement goes a long way.
7. I ask for help. This is really difficult for me but I am working on it.
8. I read about others' trials. There are countless stories of the book that was rejected a hundred times before going on to become a bestseller etc.
But here's the secret! The number one most effective thing I do is to treat my fears with kindness, respect and humility. Why? Because sometimes our fears are not really fears at all, they are our deepest potential just waiting to manifest themselves. How? They give us an opportunity to be more creative, develop courage, work harder and become more committed. They can allow us to shed our false selves and become authentic, vulnerable, compassionate. They show us that we are not complacent, just going through life...but that we are pushing our boundaries and growing...living! They can be our teachers and...dare I say, our friends! Fears develop our soul strength and stamina for all the difficulties that we will face in our lives. And our joys, our successes. How do you work through your fears...I would love to know!