remember our sacred heart

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” -  A Return to Love, by Marianne Williamson.
Lately I have been filling up my well and returning to what I know to be true...simplicity...nature, outdoors, love, homemade goodness, reading...sitting in the sun and ...breathing.  I realize that this past year has been all too difficult for our family and we haven't given ourSELVES the time + space to cocoon, regenerate and rest. Day after day was filled with all too much hustle + bustle. Also...I have been doing a lot of deep journaling work that has been healing...but also exhausting and depleting. So...every single day now I am carving out the time, space + intention of remembering our sacred hearts.

*we've been spending a ton of time sitting in the sun whenever she cares to show herself! The past week has been rainy and gloomy but this morning...we were bathed in glorious golden rays and took full advantage of it.

*I am (slowly...slowly) finding my way back to meditation. I used to practice it many years ago but...it's always been such a struggle for me. But now, more than ever, trying to watch my thoughts...tame monkey mind and...simply be present. It's carrying over through my day...reminding me to fully embrace the w(holy) now.

*And Tara has been cooking + baking up a storm. She really wants her independence and has started making her own (very delicious) pancake creations. Her last one was...blueberry, chocolate chip, coconut goodness. She is so proud of her talents in the kitchen...it makes mamma just beam with happiness to see her bask in her own sweet self.

*And this 5 ingredient homemade ice-cream was deeeeeee-licious!!! Raspberries, blackberries, chocolate, fresh cream and sugar...

*spending lots of time outdoors...feeling the sun against our skin 

 

*feeding the ducks at dusk...watching sunsets ...

Been reading Dr. Angelou's poems...silently + out loud...listening to her rich and glorious voice with Tara...here's to the phenomenal women herself...Dr. Maya Angelou...you fill up my sacred heart...you do.

I rise

                           (I Rise, mixed media on watercolor paper, 8 x 10, archival print available here)
Friends...it has been an incredibly stressful week for us over here. I have been thoroughly opened up inside and out...a roller coaster of some of the most intensely painful emotions I have ever experienced. I have cried and ranted and completely lost my composure. I have been unbelievably angry, incredibly sad and at a complete and utter loss for what to do. I have had rows of sleepless nights, knots in my stomach and uncontrollable crying spells. When we send our children out into the world...we do so with the full expectation that the world will be a kind place. That their little hearts and souls will be valued, respected and treasured. That they will be accepted and treated well. And when ugly things happen...how it shatters the very heart of who we are...making us bitter and cynical and outright pissed!! I know that I have to accept the world as it is, not as I would like it to be. I know that parenting is a difficult gig with no manual, I know that emotions can quickly get out of control and cloud reason and judgement. I know that metamorphosis is painful, draining and entirely necessary.  And this is what happened...
*I realized that sometimes decisions are best made using our heart.
*I discovered that everything everything everything can be doors to a higher understanding and a more compassionate way of life.
*I also learned (once again!) that you just can't argue with stupidity and ignorance.
And when all those layers were peeled back, this is what I saw... I am strong,  I am wise,  I have heart. I rise.

And now for some great good stuff that I wanted to share:
* I'm not quite sure how  I came across this amazing man and his TED talk but it just blew me away!! I was taken by his spirit and heart...his sheer humility and brilliance...as an educator and seer. I did more research on him and ordered his book (World Peace and Other 4th Grade Achievements)...I mean, how freakin' fantastic can one person be???
* okay...how amazing is this class right here???? Dr. Brene Brown  and Oprah??? Art journaling, vulnerability and digging deep??? Did I mention Brene and Oprah??? Sign me up please!
*Thrift Books! I just discovered this place a few months ago...and since I buy  a ton of books (for both me and Tara) it has really helped me out. Free shipping and used books (often ex-library books that are in great shape) = I'm hooked!!
* Tara's studio space is coming along quite nicely. It's not 100% done yet but I really think it's going to work out great. She's so excited to have her own "big girl" studio and loves that she's a "real artist" now:) Pics soon!