I rise

                           (I Rise, mixed media on watercolor paper, 8 x 10, archival print available here)
Friends...it has been an incredibly stressful week for us over here. I have been thoroughly opened up inside and out...a roller coaster of some of the most intensely painful emotions I have ever experienced. I have cried and ranted and completely lost my composure. I have been unbelievably angry, incredibly sad and at a complete and utter loss for what to do. I have had rows of sleepless nights, knots in my stomach and uncontrollable crying spells. When we send our children out into the world...we do so with the full expectation that the world will be a kind place. That their little hearts and souls will be valued, respected and treasured. That they will be accepted and treated well. And when ugly things happen...how it shatters the very heart of who we are...making us bitter and cynical and outright pissed!! I know that I have to accept the world as it is, not as I would like it to be. I know that parenting is a difficult gig with no manual, I know that emotions can quickly get out of control and cloud reason and judgement. I know that metamorphosis is painful, draining and entirely necessary.  And this is what happened...
*I realized that sometimes decisions are best made using our heart.
*I discovered that everything everything everything can be doors to a higher understanding and a more compassionate way of life.
*I also learned (once again!) that you just can't argue with stupidity and ignorance.
And when all those layers were peeled back, this is what I saw... I am strong,  I am wise,  I have heart. I rise.

And now for some great good stuff that I wanted to share:
* I'm not quite sure how  I came across this amazing man and his TED talk but it just blew me away!! I was taken by his spirit and heart...his sheer humility and brilliance...as an educator and seer. I did more research on him and ordered his book (World Peace and Other 4th Grade Achievements)...I mean, how freakin' fantastic can one person be???
* okay...how amazing is this class right here???? Dr. Brene Brown  and Oprah??? Art journaling, vulnerability and digging deep??? Did I mention Brene and Oprah??? Sign me up please!
*Thrift Books! I just discovered this place a few months ago...and since I buy  a ton of books (for both me and Tara) it has really helped me out. Free shipping and used books (often ex-library books that are in great shape) = I'm hooked!!
* Tara's studio space is coming along quite nicely. It's not 100% done yet but I really think it's going to work out great. She's so excited to have her own "big girl" studio and loves that she's a "real artist" now:) Pics soon!

standing in the heart of who I am

 

Can I gush?? It's week three of my class with Danielle Daniel and...I just can't go on enough about how amazing this space has been for me. You know...I kind of stopped taking e-courses for awhile because, besides the time factor, I have been so disappointed in taking classes where so much was promised and so little delivered. But I instantly knew that taking this class was the real deal. I have always known that a really good teacher doesn't teach you how to paint/draw/write etc like them but is someone who leads you to your own creative well...someone who gives you the tools and inspires you to tell your own true stories. Danielle is like that!!! Plus...she's just so darn cute!!

This is the palette I'm using...very simple...Titanium White, Burnt Sienna, Alizarin Crimson,  Payne's Gray and a teal blue. I'll probably add more colors later...this is the base.

Still a work in progress but already I am loving the looser style and the raw, spontaneous quality.  
Truth: For quite some time I have been feeling  a deep deep need to create more deeply from my heart. To tell my stories the way only I can...to push myself further creatively. To let go of my fears and step into my deeper truths. Thank you Danielle...for propelling me in that direction...closer and closer to the heart of who I am.
P.S. The studio is still quite a mess but...it's coming together!

this and that

 Things around here lately...we are enjoying the cooler days, walking around and picking different colored leaves, sitting in trees, singing, reading, arting and telling stories.
I am trying to get into a regular blogging schedule but...just haven't been able to these days for some reason.

 *been making backgrounds incorporating techniques I'm learning from Herstory. Such an awesome class, you guys...I'm so sad this is the last week!!
*watched Lifeclass yesterday with Dr. Brene Brown and Oprah...what a fantastic hour...full of aha!! moments.

And the project that has taken up so much of my time this past week is this right here...studio re-do!!!  I am turning my sewing center (you can see a bit of it in the upper left corner of this pic) into Tara's art center. I've tried everything...turning the kitchen table into an art table (didn't work because the art stuff kept expanding to the counters, the floor...everywhere!!!). So...I'm going to try sharing my studio with my girl...not sure if this idea is brilliant or catastrophic!!! This seemed to be a good solution because I really don't sew that much and it's a great space that can be better utilized. I'm super excited about it but...so much work! More soon!

searching for my style

Things have been super hectic over here...but in such a great way!! I have been using my sketches from Herstory while I paint...as inspiration. and speaking of inspiration...I was a little apprehensive about signing up for Danielle's class because of the time factor...but I am so glad I did!!! Her videos are amazing, inspiring and are allowing me to define my art in a very personal way. You guys...if you are struggling with finding your style, are stuck in a creative rut or simply want to take an amazing class ...this is it!!! She speaks to me in a way I understand...straight to my heart and soul. I am ever so grateful to be able to learn from her.

One of the things I am finding my way back to is incorporating Indian text into my work. It's very personal to me, very important to me because, you see, I have completely lost my mother tongue. English is my first and only language and it pains me greatly that I have lost this part of mySELF...so..using Indian text in this way allows me to reclaim a small part of it in some way.

This background was created using a few of the new techniques I'm learning from Danielle...I have absolutely no idea where this painting will lead. That's so much of the fun, isn't it??

In other news...over the weekend I helped Tara bake her very first apple pie!!! It was cinnamon-ey goodness all over the place! Tara was so proud and happy! I finally feel as if we are settling into a school routine over here. I have so much more to share...be back soon!!

sketching love

Since starting my class with Danielle I have been filling up pages and pages in my sketchbook. I used to draw all the time...but then kind of stopped along the way because I became too busy. But Danielle shows us how we can do very quick sketches (2,5 or 10 minute ones!!!) anywhere. The great thing about sketching is...it's so portable! And now I remember just how much I love sketching!! It's one of those activities where time seems to stand still and fly by all at once! Anyways...I wanted to share some of my fave. sketching tools with you...
* pencils!!! I swear by Derwent Graphic but there are so many great brands out there. I always get the full range (you can buy sets or in singles) that go all the way from H1-H9 and then B -B9.
* Lyra Rembrandt Polycolor in black medium. This pencil is just magic for dark dark blacks! It literally pops off the page! You can get the full set here...I just have a few blacks which I picked up from an art store.
* charcoal...there are tons of options out there from soft vine to hard pencils. I use a General's charcoal pencil in 4B soft that I picked up somewhere ages ago. There's this starter kit here too.
* a sharpener. I invest in a quality one because I don't want my pencil tips breaking!
* a tortillon or blending tool. They come in all different sizes and are super cheap. They produce amazing blends for softer areas.
* erasers. I use a general one for actually erasing and then a kneaded one as well as one of these for shaping and creating highlights.

* if I use a pen, I stick with an ultra fine point Sharpie (in permanent black)
* I sometimes add watercolors to my sketches. Whatever is available...I usually use Tara's watercolor box from Ikea!!!
* sketchbooks!! Oh my!!! there are so many wonderful ones out there in all different sizes and papers. I have so many of them. I think the best thing to do is go into an art store and see what's available, the types of papers out there, are you using only dry media or adding watercolors/collage etc. Another alternative is to make your own sketchbook filled with some of your fave. papers!!
Really, you don't need a whole bunch of stuff (although it's fun to try out different products).
Books I Have and Use: 
* Drawing on the Right Side...a classic! If I were to only use one book...this would be it! Full of exercises that facilitate really seeing what's in front of you.
* Drawing With an Open Mind: this book is a little intimidating because in 10,000 years I will never draw like him...but it's very informative. And his drawing are just a pleasure to look at
*Drawing A Contemporary Approach: lots of exercises and examples. I think this is actually a college textbook. Wow!!! I just took a look on Amazon and it's, like...$114!!!! I picked it up used somewhere for $10 or so!!
* How to Draw What You See: A super simple book that can propel you in the right direction.
Happy sketching!!!
P.S. there's still time to sign up for HerStory!!! It's an amazing opportunity.

It's been raining cats and dogs over here...so this weekend is going to be filled with staying at home, snuggling, reading, baking, sketching ...and maybe bundling up for a few photowalks! Happy weekend!

herstory

 The truth is that for the past...I can't even tell you how long (!!)...I have been creatively stuck!! Seriously stuck as in "I need to grow past this and push myself into a new phase" stuck. But...the truth is also this: I just haven't had the time to get into my studio as much as I used to. So...imagine how over the top happy I was to see this super amazing (Canadian) girl offering up a class that just struck  a chord in my heart. It's called Herstory!!!! And it sang out to me!! Happy day!!! It just started today and already I have an arsenal of tools to push me creatively. Danielle showed us so many different ways to free ourselves up, tap into the deep reservoir of creativity that each of us have  and kick that pesky inner critic straight to the curb!!! It's different types of sketching and drawings that can really propel us to find our own true creative voice. And I can carry my sketchbook with me anywhere, right??

Already I feel as if something is clicking!!! Something is being allowed to unleash itself...stories are opening up to me ...some that have been locked away for most of my life. Feelings of vulnerability and connection and...even fears. But stretching mySELF in all directions over here and it feels so good!!! If you think you may be interested...registration is still open!!

The other stuff that has been going on around here...enjoying the still hot (but short) summery days...settling Tara into school routines and reading up a storm. I picked up a whole bunch on books that I simply can't wait to lose myself (and find myself!!) in. More to share soon. xxx

back in my studio/creating backgrounds

 I haven't been posting many art process pics on my blog lately because the truth is, my time has been so limited in my studio these past many months, that I always seem to forget to take pics!! I'm so happy when I have some time to create...the time just zooms by and before I know it...no pics!! But yesterday I spent all day in my studio...creating backgrounds, experimenting and completing paintings. This is a closeup of one of my paintings...tons of collage and Paynes Grey fluid acrylic at the edges to add age and interest.

 Bubble wrap over the collage...just playing around and intuitively picking colors I love.

 

I had these Holbein Oil Pastels lying around and decided to use them. I usually use my Portfolio water Soluble Oils (which I adore) but these were fun as well for  a more graphic feel. 

 Another close-up...I add tons of collage and even though much of it eventually gets covered up...it adds layers and stories to the finished pieces. Because that's how we are, isn't it??Made up of layers upon layers of stories...some of which show while others are hidden...just there under the surface or covered up completely.

Adding Ultramarine blue washes over parts of the painting...I decided that the colors were too warm and some contrasts were needed.

This isn't the best pic right here...I added a lighter shade of blue as well as burnt sienna washes. It really adds character, depth and interest to the painting.

Adding stamps...just randomly...playing around and letting go

Adding more collage (found papers using Liquitex matte gel) on top of all this! Washes of teal at the top...

 

Detail of her hair...

 I am not quite sure how she'll turn out-and isn't that part of the fun and excitement?? But here's my lady making her way into the world!!!

road trip magic

 I just love road trips...the spontaneity and freedom, the wide open spaces and getting outside of my routines and habits. The exploring and wonder of not quite knowing what's around the corner. The singing + snoozing and chatting + memory making.

Back home now...organizing, laundry, back to routines etc.